(written by Peter G, sung to the tune of "Chapel Of Love" by the Dixie Cups)
Because we're gooooooing to the tavern and we're goooooona get haaaaaaaaaammered.
Goooooooooing to the tavern and we're goooooooona get haaaaaaaaaaaammered.
Pickled, tanked, and blotto.
Feel the room spin, we're holding onto the floooooooooooor.
I've often said that, if you want to present empowered people doing empowered things, reality TV is the last place you should look. For example, how many reality shows depict blonde women as vapid bimbos? Italian Americans are up in arms about "Jersey Shore". Part of the pitch for "The Real Beverly Hillbillies" was watching people from the South deal with modern living. Ho ho, my sides. Reality TV is about reaffirming the superiority of social roles for the edification of people who don't care to know better.
The Olympics may be sports, but the angle it is presented under is more reality TV. For example, skier Lindsay Vonn and another skier are polar opposites and don't like each other. However, when it's time to go on, they put their differences aside and compete for their country. But you don't hear about that, you hear reports that make it sound like they are ready to start a catfight. The news is also breathless with reports of infighting and catty behavior by the ice skaters.
Why do I bring this up? Well...
Canada's women's ice hockey team beat the US. And, as you would expect when someone bests a rival, they wanted to celebrate. So, in the middle of their drunken binge, they took their champagne out on the ice, whooped it up, and one of them apparently drove the Zamboni around.
You know, that actually sounds like it would have been fun. I don't watch hockey, and even I want to drive the Zamboni! Given a choice between the hockey players and those bitchy little ice queens, I know who I'd rather party with.
Well, the media is aghast that the Canadian women would act like a bunch of frat boys (this is the same media that only gave a cursory mention to the US men's hockey team pretending they were The Who and throwing two mattresses and a fire extinguisher off their hotel balcony).
So, a bunch of women who won a tough victory living it up amongst themselves is bad, but a bunch of underage girls behaving like the cast of Gossip Girl is normal.
And we wonder why our daughters get such screwed up messages about acting mature.