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Bringing Everyone Into The Loop

I've gotten a couple of IM's from people who read the latest Junior Matlock Club installment and asked about the back and forth between Mornblade and I about Australians and "The Queen takes it in the shitter."  So, for the curious, here's what happened to my dad.

My dad served in the Navy during Vietnam.  He first gets there and eventually is approved for shore leave.  So he heads for a bar to meet with some shipmates of his who've already been there.

As my dad is looking around the bar, his friend is pointing out all the sailors and their countries of origin.  He points to a table with a bunch of sailors sitting, drinking, and yukking it up.  "Those are Australian sailors," he tells my dad.  He gives them a brief rundown of their culture, including how much they love the British queen.  He leans close to my dad and tells him, "Whatever you do, DO NOT say, 'The  Queen takes it in the shitter.'"

My dad says aloud in incredulousness, "'THE QUEEN TAKES IT IN THE SHITTER?!?'"

Suddenly, all the Aussies at the table stand up and move in.  "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?"

A bar fight broke out, and my dad gets thrown through a window.  He hobbles back to the ship.  As the doctor is stitching him up, he asks my dad what happened.

"I said, 'The Queen takes it in the shitter' around a bunch of Australian sailors."

"Well, you know not to do that again, don't you?"

Next night, my dad goes back to the same bar.  The Aussies are there, same table, they wave hi to my dad like nothing happened.  At the bar is a guy my dad went to training with and hadn't seen since.  He looks at my dad with all the bandages and asks, "What the hell happened to you?"

My dad pointed to the Aussies and said, "They threw me through the window."

"What did you do?"

My dad leans in and tells him, "Whatever you do, DO NOT say, 'The Queen takes it in the shitter.'"

His friend says aloud in incredulousness, "'THE QUEEN TAKES IT IN THE SHITTER?!?'"

Suddenly, all the Aussies at the table stand up and move in.  "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?"

Another fight broke out, with my dad being thrown through the window again.  Thankfully, they hadn't replaced the glass.  He hobbles back to the ship.  The doctor takes one look at him and says, "I thought you said you weren't going to do that again?"

Next time he's at the bar, the Aussies wave hi to him and even by him a beer.

My dad kept his mouth shut.  And stayed close to the door in case he needed to get out of there in a hurry.

But now you know...the rest of...the story.

Comments

ozma914
May. 25th, 2010 08:19 am (UTC)
Good for him. I've often said that, if not for my misfortune, I'd never come up with enough material to fill my 52 columns a year.

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