May 8th, 2010


Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, Strichnine....

The realm of sexual attraction is one of those realms where people are discriminatory and it HAS to be accepted and allowed.  People can't help who and what they are attracted to.  You can control that attraction by not acting on it, but you can't force someone to feel sexual about something that they don't.  If a guy only finds, say, one particular ethnicity sexy, then all the exposure to others in the world isn't going to change him.  That's just how it is.  I preface this because here comes my personal biases again.  I know there are those that do not share my general reaction, and I don't fault them.  Just as I'm free to my preferences, they are free to theirs.  But this is my blog, so this is my point of view....

I like women with normal body weight.  The "acceptable range" for me is actually quite large.  The average size of a woman in the US is a size 16.  It has been proven that such women have no trouble turning my crank.  I love when I'm out with a woman and when I ask what she wants to do about dinner, suggests Portillo's (home of the best Chicago style hot dogs in the world) or some other place hearty.  But it's a range, not "anyone with XX chromosomes".  There are limits for me.  There is such a thing as "too fat", and there is definitely such a thing as "too skinny."

Now, there are some skinny Hollywood starlets that I do find sexy (Kylie Minogue, for example), but that has to do with other factors, not that they are rail thin.  "Thin" does not automatically equal "sexy" in my book.  So seeing things like Kate Bosworth plugging Superman Returns with a body weight hovering around the 100 lbs. mark doesn't make me go, "That's hot!"  It makes me want to call emergency services.  There's a thin line between dieting/eating healthy and malnutrition.  But the focus on the glamorous life by lifestyle magazines creates body image problems.  It starts young, with little girls brainwashed by the unrealistic proportions of a Barbie doll.  As women get older and their bodies react normally to age, gaining weight, getting wrinkles, and things starting to sag, they look at Hollywood types and wonder how they have either slowed or turned back the clock.

The answer is, it's their job to stay thin.  Their careers are structured to allow them to do things like exercise for two hours a day and personal chefs who take all the guesswork out of preparing meals (I suspect laxatives, diuretics, and anti-depressants also play a role).  Normal people that have jobs, kids, family, friends, A LIFE would never make it happen, there's only so many hours in a day.  It's genetics.  It's body type.  You can have some effect, but someone like me who's pear shaped is never going to look like Vin Diesel.

So, I read some of these "Here's how you can lose weight!" things like Kendra Wilkinson after having her baby and shake my head.  They're lying.  They'd lose the weight anyway.  The latest on this bandwagon is Gwyneth Paltrow, touring for Iron Man 2.  In a piece called "The Making Of Pepper Pots" (keep in mind, she's a comic book female, so realistic anatomy is not the goal), she wrote, "I have just traversed the globe doing promotion for Ironman 2, getting asked the same question repeatedly: how did I get in shape for the movie? Well, I am not going to lie, the process was an arduous one."

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TL;DR -- I lost weight with a diet no one in their right mind could stick to for more than a few days without reaching for the nearest hoagie and an exercise regimen no one has time for.

Ladies, trying to lose some weight and be healthy is one thing.  But if you have to destroy your body and your life for your guy, he ain't worth it.