Hello, and welcome to Snap Judgments, where I take pure speculation and sketchy facts and try to make an educated guess about whether or not the project is going to crash and burn.
Shane Black recently did a bit where he gave hints about what to expect since he is the official director and writer for Iron Man 3.
Apparently, the studio was not happy with the second film and it's "two men fighting in iron suits" thing. (Uh, it did work for the first movie, which was two men fighting in iron suits, but whatevs.) He's claiming there'll be no crossover cameos (Nick Fury) in 3. And he's claiming that the movie will have sort of a Tom Clancy vibe.
DING DING DING RED ALERT SHE'S BREAKING UP SHE'S BREAKING UP!
The typical way sequels are done is you make things bigger and bolder. Tim Burton's first Batman was followed by one with two villains! Sam Raimi's whole resume is about making sequels bigger (Evil Dead, anyone?). Going Tom Clancy? Which is quite likely -- kidnapping is a recurring theme in Shane Black's works (Lethal Weapon, Long Kiss Goodnight, etc.) But turning Iron Man into Solid Snake is not only a step backwards, it's a waste. Iron Man is designed for big action set pieces with lots of shit going boom. Hit and run tactics (I'm getting a real Metal Gear Solid vibe here, or possibly Rhodey getting kidnapped to try and reverse engineer the War Machine armor, I'm not sure Pepper would be a target) are not what he is suited for, and not what the public will pay to see.
So, if this holds up, 3 is going to be a washout. I know there were lots of people disappointed in 2 (I wasn't one of them, I loved it), but if you think you're disappointed now, you better pray this doesn't come to pass like this.
I'm perfectly happy not paying attention to basketball anymore. I don't care that the Chicago Bulls are doing well, when the team quit on Skiles, that was the end for me.
Could be worse. I could be a Miami Heat fan.
Hello, Dwayne Wade. Your coach says that some of you were crying in the locker room after your shot rimmed out in the last seconds and the Bulls squeaked by you by a point to sweep the season series 3-0. And you're going to the media and saying that you're doing exactly what the fans want -- you're losing. That should make us happy.
Listen, you pissing your jock strap little crybaby, people would not be hoping you would collapse if you hadn't acted like such a dickhead when the team got put together. You were forecasting an NBA title for the Heat months before the season opened. People like me who pointed out teams with three superstars NEVER do well, you didn't say you were going to work hard as a unit, you said we didn't know what we were talking about. We'd be hoping the grand experiment worked if you acted with some dedication.
And now, our observations are coming true, players are crying (in March?!? There's still a lot of season left!), and you're acting like spoiled brat. Suffer, bitch.