September 1st, 2011


Now, I Think I Actually Do Need A Beer

Hello, Internets, and welcome to FIND THE FLAW!

“Hi everyone! Come join Dan DiDio at XXXXXX on Thursday 9/1 to celebrate the release of the New 52 titles and the work of the people who made it happen. We have booked the 3rd floor starting at 5:30pm. There will be a beer pong table and dart boards.”

This picture was supposedly taken at the shindig in question.

If you said, "That's not Beer Pong," congratulations! You found the flaw!

That is Beirut, not Beer Pong. Beer Pong is ping pong with beer mugs on the corners of the table. Beirut is like a grown-up's version of Bozo's Grand Prize Game. There is a difference. I know the difference, AND I DON'T EVEN DRINK, GODDAMMIT!!!

I'm waiting for some chucklefuck to call the Monkey Chug "Depth Charge." Jesus....
Kill It With Fire

Now That's One Big Pile Of Shirt

JC Penney is under fire.

Penney had this T-shirt available for sale. Check it out....

It was only up for about an hour when the Twitterverse erupted in criticism. On online petition griped, "Under the guise of being 'cute,' J. C. Penney is promoting merchandise that encourages girls to value looks over brains; to leave academics to the boys, and to aspire to nothing more than fawning after Justin Bieber." Penney's has since taken the shirt down.

Problem solved, right?


In my time, I have seen a number of T-shirts for girls that:

* celebrate abusing boys (a It's Happy Bunny! shirt that said, "Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them.")

* celebrate bitchiness (various saying celebrating how much other girls should be jealous of the wearer)

* celebrate selfishness (shirts proudly declaring "Princess" and the like)

* and shirts that celebrate how the sex drive makes it easy for women to dominate men

And yet, JUST THIS ONE PARTICULAR SHIRT garners outrage and gets pulled from the market.

What's different about that shirt and any of the others that are far more blatant in their misandry or promotion of egotism? It's not just the lack of humanity it reveals, it's the hypocrisy.

We Love Our Family When We Aren't Ignoring Them For Political Gain

I got to my office and tossed my keys across the room. Smooth, underhand motion, they landed perfectly in the change dish. The tinkle of metal sounded, and my smile grew even wider. Oh, I love that.

I got to my desk and activated Fermata. I went under her phone book function, found the phone number, and with happiness in my fingers, started dialing. It got picked up on the first ring.


Hello, Mister Mitt Romney?

"Yes! Peter G, right? I'd know your voice anywhere!"

Yes, it is.

"I take it you're calling to let me know you've decided which politician you want to bash?"

You've been waiting for this call, haven't you?

"Ever since our interview. So, did I make the cut?"

Yes, as a matter of fact, you did. I'm going to be bashing you as soon as I update my blog.

"Yeah, that campaign donation to my superPAC was pretty slimy, wasn't it?"

Oh, I'm not slamming you for that. I mean, that was impressive, but that's not what put you over the top.

"Really? You know, I've been in the news for lots of stuff lately. Can you help narrow down which one it is?"

Sure. Does the name, "Ann Keenan," ring any bells?


Born 1942? Died 1963?

"Well, you meet so many people on the campaign trail...."

She was the sister of your brother in law.

"...oh, her. Sorry. Out of sight, out of mind, you know?"

Well, yes, considering you haven't mentioned her since your debate with Ted Kennedy back in 1994, I can see how a close relative who died of a botched illegal abortion could slip your mind.

" know about that?"

Yes, I know all about it. How an infection resulting from the procedure killed her. How the family was forbidden to talk about it because your dad was elected governor of Michigan in 1962 and would eventually run for the R nomination for President in 1968. How Keenan's parents asked for memorial donations to be sent to Planned Parenthood.

" it too late to remove my name from consideration?"

Too late, dipshit. You've taken a lot of heat for flipflopping on abortion over the years. The fact that you would force women back into an era that killed your sister in law means you have no heart, no brain, and no guts. You are either a medical miracle or a politician!

The dial tone blared in my ear.

Yeah. Run from me, Romney. But you can't run from the world.

And the world will know.

Ann Keenan, rest in peace. You deserved better then, and you deserve better now.
Reflective Mermaid

This Thought Just Struck Me

Let's see...I've written about....



Comic books.

Bar games.


Hurricane Irene.

The next Hannah Singer book.


Kim Kardashian.

The upcoming legal showdown over Obamacare.

Rob Granito.

The futility of life.

My blog is like a box of chocolates -- you never know what you're gonna get.

My pledge to you -- I'll post pictures of ponies this weekend, including my first attempt at drawing the TARDIS control room for Doctor Whooves. You may not agree with everything I write on my blog, but you have to admit, it's certainly never dull here.