October 14th, 2011

HolyHandGrenade

The Reason For The Seaon Just Got Strange

There are two schools of thought for why Christmas and Easter fall when they do.  The first is that Christians were trying to co-opt the dates of Pagan holidays and subvert other religions (given the descriptions of the shephards in field, Jesus most likely wasn't born in the winter season).  The other is a bunch of obscure explanation that only heads who accept faith as fact will accept (read that:  most of the world will think it's bogus).  There is reason to believe either thought, that the Pagan holidays were muscled in on or it was simply a decision made and as Christianity grew, it unintentionally shoved the competition out of the way.

Which brings us to a new made-up holiday that definitely fits in the former camp:  Jesusween.

Holidays that celebrate the passing of the dead are in ALL cultures and religions.  Halloween, the Celtic festival of Samhein, is ostensibly a harvest festival.  In the Christian religion, it is the first of three days, thanks to Pope Gregory III. October 31 is Halloween (all Hallows Eve, to celebrate hallowed saints), when the evil spirits rise up and roam the earth.  All Saints' Day, the saints turn up like the Superfriends and chase them off.  All Souls' Day follows, when the restless spirits finally go down and are at peace.

Obviously, modern Halloween has zilch to do with either of those.  Halloween is about costumes and candy and parties for kids with bargain basement Hi-C and store bought cookies because the recipe looked to complicated while adults where costumes that destroy childhood memories in places that look like cheap versions of Elvira's TV set.  As such, speaking as a Christian, I never saw a problem with Halloween.  It's people having fun, and as long as they aren't sacrificing small animals on my lawn (as opposed to on their own lawns.  Hey, it's your property, have at it).  But that doesn't stop some of your fundamentalist Christians from bitching up a storm about a celebration of the occult.

So they've decided to double Christianize this one Pagan holiday by doing things that make it sound like a rejected SNL sketch.  It was supposedly founded by a Pastor Paul in 2002 who decided to give pocket Bibles to trick or treaters instead of candy.  Odds that his house was egged or TP'ed?  Even money.  He says he gave away 40 Bibles that day.  (Don't look at me, I give comic books.  As Peter David says, "Rot kids brains, not their teeth").  Apparently, not a lot of people are jumping on the bandwagon, as their "testimonials" page is now 404.

Look, it's very simple.  You don't like Pagan holidays?  Don't celebrate them.  Trying to corrupt them (that IS what this boils down to) under the guise of saving people only makes you look like an intolerant asshole.  Especially something that few people actually celebrate as they are supposed to, Christian or not.  Let everyone have their fun, will ya?
Epic Fail

It's Lovely Bobbing Along On The Bottom Of The Beautiful Briny Sea.....

Let's pretend.

You are given $2.5 million.  You are only allowed to use it to buy a yacht.  You can make it put whatever you want on it, you can make it do whatever you want, as long as you do not go over $2.5 million.  Pac-Man machine?  Fine.  Wheels so you can just drive it into the water instead of dinking with a trailer?  Done.  Anti-tank weapons?  Sure.  Start listing what all you would want on there.

Time's up.  On your list of requirements, did you mention that the yacht has to float?

You probably think, "Duh!  It's a boat!  It's supposed to float, right?"

Not necessarily.

A Chinese businessman paid $2.5 mil (what happened to that whole "communism" thing?) for a yacht, the SS Jiugang, built to his specifications.  It was wheeled out to the Yellow River for its maiden voyage, where it promptly sank as soon as it hit the water.

Here's video of the whole...thing.  You won't know whether to laugh at the guy or cry for him.  According to reports, the problem was "improper handling from the builders who mistakenly estimated the water level causing the water level to exceed the limit."  They fished it out and are working on fixing it.

The moral of this story?  Always keep your receipt.
Picard

Maximum Extreme Comics!!!

Here we go again.

Rob Liefeld has been hinting he's going to relaunch several of his Extreme Studios titles.

Today, he confirmed it will be a relaunch/revamp of Youngblood and related titles.



Youngblood is being handled by John McLaughlin, Jon Malin and Rob Liefeld.  McLaughlin is one of the screenwriters for Black Swan.  It will supposedly be more sophisticated and better done.  Given the original featured a character throwing a ballpoint pen and stabbing someone in the heart with it, I'm not sure it can get much worse.

Prophet is being handled by Brandon Graham and Simon Roy.

Glory is being handled by Joe Keatinge and Ross Campbell.

Bloodstrike is being done by Tim Seeley (Hack/Slash) and Francheco Gaston.

And Supreme is Alan Moore, Erik Larsen and Cory Hamscher.  These are the original scripts Moore wrote and finished during the original run that were never drawn out.

Wait...wasn't there a Youngblood series written by Mark Millar that Liefeld said he was going to finish?  What happened to that?