May 12th, 2012

Peter G

BabyBabyBabyBaby....

Most single guys go out on dates on Friday night.

Me?

I was providing what support I could in the maternity ward.

I mentioned my teacher moved back here because her niece was having problems keeping up with the demands of motherhood.  She has a daughter, who I've dubbed the Munchkin (she only recently turned 4), and I sometimes help my teacher keep her corralled so they can have some downtime.

Well, my workload just doubled.  The Munchkin has a baby sister now.

Mother and baby are doing fine, which is an immense relief.  This was not an easy pregnancy for her, with at least three trips to the doctor (that I know of) because of problems.  Everybody was praying they would both be okay.

Well, they are.  Mother is recovering and resting comfortably, the baby has been examined and is in perfect health.  She's a fighter.  I like her already.

Unfortunately, due to overtime at work, I couldn't get there any earlier than I did.  Well, sort of.  I stopped by a Culvers and grabbed a butterburger, one of my teacher's known weaknesses.  I shoved it in my pack and got there.  My teacher saw me coming down the hall and after a quick debriefing, I gave her the butterburger.  From her reaction, you'd think I'd be assumed bodily into Heaven right then and there.  Also took the Munchkin for some ice cream.  Kids just don't quite "get" hospitals.

You have to keep in mind that this is my family of choice.  My "real" family is nothing but drama and headaches and power plays and control.  They do nothing by tear me down.  My family of choice builds me up, encourages me, believes in me, and I give those feelings and motivations back.  Blood means nothing to me.  Bond is everything.  They are my true family, regardless of my lineage.

Mom is staying a day longer to make sure she's fine, and then she'll be bringing the baby home.  I feel a little bad.  Their family doesn't have a lot of money, most of the neat stuff they have like the PS2 they got as hand-me-downs.  They appreciate everything, but I would love to give them something a little more immediate, more direct, something to lift them up a little.

My teacher told me that me being there is more than enough, especially for the new daughter.  She told me with a smile, "Not everyone has a Polish uncle."

May I continue to be the family they deserve.
Kermit And Piggy

The Truth Is Vicious When You Corner It

ozma914 has discovered the site "You Write Like" which analyzes your writing from a sample and tells you who your writing resembles.  (I was told my writing resembles Mario Puzzo.  Okay.  I guess....)  He was told he writes like Margaret Atwood.

He's confused.

Allow me to make you feel better, dude.  ozma914?  This one's on me....



I'm such a bitch....
Barney Fife

Junior Matlock Club -- Having A Real Gas

"Now, it is from little misdemeanors that major felonies grow. And it is my duty -- it is ANYBODY'S duty! -- to stop them before they get too far.  NOW THE LAW MUST BE UPHELD!"

And, by completing the oath, you reaffirm your membership in good standing with the Junior Matlock Club, where we look at criminals who really should consider honest work because they don't have what it takes for a life of crime.

You know, gas has gotten expensive.  You can tell by how many gas stations make you prepay before you pump now.  When gas was about $2 a gallon, you either just gassed up and paid or you waved to the guy in the window and he let you pump.  But as gas went to $3, that changed because of drive-offs and theft.  $4 now?  Some places, I'm surprised I don't need to leave a DNA sample and affidavit from Jesus Christ before I pump.

When a tank of gas starts approached C-note territory and gas mileage means you are guaranteed to be filling up plenty, people are looking for ways to save some cash.  There's going with a more fuel efficient vehicle.  There's carpooling.  And some people just go with that old standby, petty theft.

Michael Baker is 20 years old and lives in Jenkins City, Kentucky.  He wanted some gas on the cheap and figured he'd just syphon it out of a car.  But why choose just any old mark?  Baker decided to stick it to the man and stole the gas from a Jenkins City police cruiser.  And just to show what a badass he is, he posted a photo of himself doing it on his Facebook.



Guess what happened next?



The picture has been removed, and replaced with, “just got out of jail,” he wrote in one post, adding later that “yea lol i went too jail over facebook.” Responding to a friend who had not seen the image before it was yanked, Baker assured, “yea lol u would just have to seen it it was funny as hell tho.”  He was arraigned yesterday.

So the lesson to be learned from this is all criminals watch out for crime cameras.  Especially when they bring their own.