January 23rd, 2013

This Makes Me Moist

Mercedes Boy

Lots of guys are nuts for Kate Upton.

Not me.  Upton may be legal, but she has a baby face that photographers try to highlight.  Every picture makes an artistic statement, and hers is apparently, "Jailbait" (she was 19 when she appeared on the cover.  She started appearing the previous year, which would be when she was 18.  If some of those pictures were shot before she turned 18....)  I prefer my entertainment to not make me feel like a creep.

Upton used her appearance on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue (sorry, Playboy has been doing more and doing it better for years) to launch into movies and commercials.  Now, yes, models are beautiful.  It's the whole reason they're hired.  And sex appeal has always been a selling tool.  But this is over the line.  Observe this Mercedes commercial scheduled to run during the Super Bowl.  This commercial uses a LOT of porn image metaphors, as the YouTube thumbnail proves. --

 The camera pan that starts the commercial is interesting.  That hasn't been used in advertising in years.  It reinforces Upton is an object there for the edification of the viewers, she has nothing else to offer.  Even the "joke" is lame, that she washes her car by getting others to do it.  Done properly, it could be worth an eye roll or a groan.  But not for a minute and a half of shameless exploitation.

We live in an era with unparalleled access to knowledge about anything, from video games to sexuality.  And yet, we don't seem to be learning very much, are we?