February 28th, 2013

Peter G

Laughter Across Borders

We've got new people at work, and as usual, lunchtime sees unconscious social division as people sit with those that make them the most comfortable.

One of the tables had five Hispanic guys, three new, two been there for years.  They are talking amongst themselves in Spanish and it seems like they are having a fine time together.

As I'm walking by, one of them sings, "Ai-yi-yi-yiiiiiii....."

I quietly sing, "I am Jose Jalapeño...."

All five of them immediately turn to me and say in perfect unison, "ON A STEEK!"

I now have five new friends.

You Mean You Can Make Friends By Being Yourself?!? Whodathunk?

While waiting at the time clock before punching in this morning, I'm reading a book on the Arduino in preparation for making my own arcade game, a simple electronic game (uses lights instead of a video screen, buzzer instead of speaker, etc.).

One of the new guys sees the book and asks me about it.  I explain it's a microcontroller and some other stuff.  I tell him I'm going to make an arcade game, and the challenge is something that can run on four D batteries so I don't have to worry about power consumption or plugging it in or anything.

"What kind of game are you planning on making?"

Well, I'm going to start small, maybe a simple racing game or possibly a Stacker game, only mine won't cheat.  My ultimate goal is...do you watch the new My Little Pony cartoon?

"That's my shit!  My daughter and I watch it every day!  Rainbow Dash is awesome!"

Well, my ultimate dream is to get things down enough that I can make a MLP steeplechase game.  Three players, each gets one pony, and whoever clears the obstacles the fastest is the winner.

"You make that, I'll buy it off you!"

Another guy waiting in line -- "Me, too!"

Guys, it'll be a couple of years before I make it, and I don't know how much this will cost.  The cabinet alone could run $150.  With the lights, marquee, and everything, it could hit $500 easy.

"I'll still think about it."

"Me, too."  I had forgotten one of the basic rules of parenthood -- daddies will do almost anything for their little girls.

A third guy asks me if I could build one for his rec room.  His kids have moved out, he wants a MLP arcade game for himself.

The moral of this story?  Whether you are a loser or a cool dude depends entirely on who you are hanging with at the moment.

We'll Always Have Paris

Longtime readers who remember my Stress Puppy comic strip know that I didn't consider it an official storyline unless 1) I mentioned furries didn't like the strip and 2) I took at least one cheap shot at Paris Hilton.

Hilton and the strip have both fallen off the radar, but Hilton is back with that narcissism that makes her such a tempting target.

Hilton was skiing with her new boyfriend to celebrate her 32 year birthday when he got into a skiing accident.  While he is on a stretcher waiting to be taken away, Hilton does a modeling pose for the camera.


I don't know what's worse -- that she's turning an accident into a photo op or that her boyfriend is giving a thumbs up to the camera instead of a big stiff middle finger to her.

Aw, Paris.  We missed you.

Big Brother Is Watching You, Kids!

As Google pervades more and more of our lives (it's kind of scary just how much information you can turn up on people with it), questions remain of what will happen to our right to privacy or to make mistakes.

Here's a preview of what happens when access to information gets in the wrong hands.

Patricia Barnes was driving through Erin, Tennessee, when she got hit with the urge to go to the bathroom.  Nothing unusual there. She stopped at a place called the Flood Zone and went in.

One of the owners of the Flood Zone, who identifies herself as Lisa (won't give her last name), had a sign on the wall that the bathroom was for customers only, others had to pay $5 to use it.  Barnes used the bathroom and attempted to pay the money, but was refused (Lisa confirms this, saying Barnes attempted to hand over $5 twice but, "I would not take her $5").  So Barnes took off.

Well, someone took down the license plate number of Barnes' vehicle, and got their friend a local sherif to dox her.  A few days later, Barnes got a handwritten note at home saying she owed the Flood Zone $5 for the use of their bathroom.  Yeah, after they admitted they didn't take the money when she offered it to them THAT FUCKING DAY.

This happened last October, but a local TV station decided to look into it, and broke the story today.  It has now gone viral.  Lisa has attempted to defend what happened, saying that they started the charge because of people wrecking the bathroom and that Barnes was bossy and she was in there for 20 minutes and...you know what?  That's not the issue.  The issue is that you are charging her after refusing to take her payment, you had someone abuse their power just to annoy them, and this was completely unnecessary.

So if you are driving through Erin, Tennessee, watch where you go.  In both senses of the word.
Kermit And Piggy

Aw, What A Shame

Joe Francis is the founder of Girls Gone Wild, the stupid and exploitational soft core porn company.  For example, a woman at a club who had her top pulled down found herself in one of the videos and successfully sued.  Lots of women complaining about the terms of the releases they sign.  And, of course, Francis' little tiff with casino mogul Steve Wynn, whom Francis owes about $40 mil, including $27.5 mil for slander (Francis claimed Wynn was trying to kill him) and $10.3 to settle a $2 mil gambling debt.  Wynn has been moving to seize the assets of Girls Gone Wild to settle that last one.

Francis has filed bankruptcy.  He claims it's just to reorganize and protect from frivolous lawsuits, but I've watched Chapter 11 before (the SCO fiasco), and what he thinks is going to happen is not how it will turn out.

I just hope it means we are going to be rid of this anus stain.