August 12th, 2016


Fighting Evil By Moonlight.

There are some things you just can't get rid of.

Ever since the Batman -- The Killing Joke movie showed us Batman and Batgirl getting it on, my enthusiasm for the Caped Crusader has plummeted like a Kayne West album in its second week.  I was ready to trash every last bit of Batman memoribia I have, but I eventually decided to wait until I calmed down from the squick.  So I have been placing extraneous Batman stuff aside until I decide once and for all if I can keep being a fan or if I don't want it anymore.

That said, there are a few things that will remain in my collection.  My Batman video games, obviously.  The first two movies in the Nolan trilogy (sorry, I didn't like Dark Knight Rises).  A few other things here and there, and certain comic books.  For example, Justice League #5 (September 1987).  This is the infamous "One Punch" issue.  I hate Guy Gardner.  I think he's a total asshole and his existence not only doesn't make sense in the Green Lantern continuity, but it's insulting to the concept of superheroes, and I will argue those points to the death.  So when Guy decided to challenge Batman to a fistfight, that one image, of Batman dropping him like a sack of flour with one punch, was something I had been wishing for for ages.  The first time I saw it, I just stared at the page, realizing my dreams had come true.  I know Keith Giffen, the writer, said it was a throwaway joke, but it was something the readers had been aching to see, and there is no putting that genie back in the bottle.

(Side note:  this also means I keep Justice League Of America Vol 2 #0.  In that issue, it is revealed that Black Canary took a picture of the unconscious Guy Gardner and faxed it to Wonder Woman.  The issue features a scene where Wonder Woman and Superman are grilling Batman for details of the "fight" and loving every minute of it, to the point where they ask Batman to re-enact the fight and he gladly does so.  The Caped Crusader, dour and grim and withdrawn, is actually bragging about fucking Guy Gardner up and Wondy and Supes were just eating it up.  And I don't blame them one little bit.)

So, like I said, there are certain key issues that I will be holding on to no matter what, although I do note that they all come from before Batsy's roll in the hay with his metaphorical daughter.  The original Court Of Owls story?  That stays. No Man's Land?  Never getting rid of that, it's one of my favorite Batman stories of all time.  But it's not just the epic stuff.  There is one issue that, due to a personal bias, I will never get rid of, because, like Batman actually bragging about something for a change, this one is a little throwaway detail that, the more you think about it, the better it gets.

The issue in question is Justice League Of America #27 (1999).  In it, there is a scene in a restaraunt.  The Martian Manhunter has disguised himself as a Japanese woman (CULTURAL APPROPRIATION!  MARTIANS ARE INSENSITIVE!) for a meeting with Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne.  Here's the page that is fraught with portent:

For those of you wondering what the hell Bruce is on about, the Martain Manhunter has adopted the alias of Hino Rei, a.k.a. Sailor Mars.

Batman reads and/or watches Sailor Moon.

And now, I want a picture of a Batman cosplayer holding my signed Sailor Moon video game....