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You Know What It's Time For? A Sexy Party!

Sex is beautiful.  Sex is wonderful.

Sex is funny and makes people do really weird things.

For example, the Hulk movie.  Ang Lee and company were working on modeling the Hulk's scene when he breaks out, and a discussion occurred -- what exactly would the Hulk's junk look like?  No consensus could be reached, so the Hulk simply emerged wearing pants.

The original Superman movie, the lady watching the rushes noticed that Christopher Reeve's bulge changed positions depending on camera angle.  Rather than have the costumers compare images and adjust each day (how would you like that on your resume?  "I positioned Superman's nuts every day"), they ultimately sewed a swimmer's cup into the Superman costume to eliminate the problem.

Halle Berry's role in the James Bond movie nearly gave it an R rating.  17 seconds of footage got removed.  What was cut?  When Bond is making love to her, she smiled.  Really.  That was it.  A woman enjoying sex was enough to get it an R rating.  The man could enjoy it all he wanted.  It got cut, and the movie got its lower rating.

And no discussion of sex and stupidity would be complete without mentioning Chatterbox.

As I mentioned in my review, I thought Avatar was an okay flick.  Overlong and cliche, but okay.  James Cameron is rereleasing the film in theaters next month.  It will be extended!  Now, before you sepuku yourselves like I almost did, it's only about eight minutes.  Which means I can safely ignore it.

So, what is in the eight minutes to get people to drive a half hour to the theater and a time that may not be convenient for them to see something they probably already own on DVD?

Among other things?  A sex scene.

Apparently, a sex scene was made but cut from the theatrical release (if the sex scene featured the REAL Zoe Saldana and not her digitally altered form, I'd totally pay to see that).  And it will be restored for all those people who are actually learning the Na'Vi language.  No kidding, there are online web sites that will teach you the language like Klingon or Elvish.

I have to admit, when watching the movie, the question of what sexual congress for the Na'Vi was like never occurred to me.  The only question that occurred to me was, "Just how much longer is this movie going to go on?"

So, it turns out Cameron didn't miss a cliche after all.  Just like sex itself, it's all about timing....

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