We also stop by a music store. I wanted to look, anyway. Down in Florida, a bunch of retirees have started a 60's rock cover band. They play every week, and mom and dad love listening to them. It has apparently triggered some interest on my dad's part to learn to play guitar. So I've been looking around to get a feel for what I can expect to find and pay for a trainer.
So we wander through the shop. At the keyboards, I do a quick riff of themes from Family Guy and the Muppet Show. The drums already have people playing them, so I didn't bother. Then the three of us get to the guitars. As we look them over, Vera asks, "How about a guitar for you?"
Nah. I'm a piano man and I like the drums. I'm not a rocker.
She picks one up. I believe it was a Fender Strat (my knowledge of the makes and models of guitars is on par with my knowledge of cars). "Come on. This guitar makes anyone cool."
I look it over and ask, Does it come in blue?
They did not have that particular one in blue, but she did find another. She presented it to me and smiled, "Here! Blue!"
I took it and looked it over and told her, Well, teal, anyway.
"That's not teal," her cousin says.
Vera's cousin is an interior designer. She can spend hours talking about the differences between off white, oatmeal, and eggshell. I roll my eyes and ask, Okay, so what color is it?
I just locked up. Meanwhile, asshole Vera turns around, declares, "Oh! I've been looking for a new... fog machine... yeah...." and starts walking away as I put the guitar back.
On the way out to the car, Vera's cousin is asking, "What did I say?"
I DO NOT HAVE MERMAIDS ON THE BRAIN, GODDAMMIT!!!