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Why Kids Hate Their Parents

Keep in mind, once I wake up, it is nearly impossible for me to immediately fall back asleep.  So I might as well write this up here while waiting for the body to shift back into sleep mode.

I lay down and go to sleep about 1100PM.

At 1215AM, the phone rings.  I pull myself out of sleep and force my eyes to focus on the caller ID so I can read.

It's my parents.

I hype.  When I get a call from family in the middle of the night, only one thought comes to mind -- death in the family.

I answer.  Hello?!?

"Hi, Pete!  It's your mom.  What was that movie out earlier this year?"

Long long loooooong beat.  ...whut?

"It had Steven Colbert in it."

From my mom's side, I hear my dad say, "It was Date Night.  Wait...who are you on the phone with?"

My mom asks, "Were you doing something, honey?"

Somehow, I manage to say, I was sleeping.

Long beat.  "Oh.  I woke you?"

Yeah.  To ask me about a movie.

"Well, we wanted to buy it tomorrow."

And you couldn't have asked me in the morning?

The rest of the conversation was extremely short.

So now, I'm sitting here, drinking a cup of chamomile tea and trying to get my heart rate back to normal.  Jesus....

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