So it's kind of a shock to find out I do have some sort of impact, one I never expected.
I'm chatting with my teacher online (she does keep tabs on me around the holidays). And she's talking about how far I've advanced. No student of hers has developed as much as I have, and in such a relatively short time to boot. She is proud and honored to know me and to have me as a student.
I ask her how much further I have to go. I have to be getting near the end of the ride, right?
She tells me we never stop learning, the journey never ends. "Even me," she says. "I still learn something new every day."
That surprised me. The depth of her wisdom is amazing. You're still learning? I ask.
"Every day, I see or hear or experience something I never had before. Or see how people react to it. Or how people connect. There is always something to learn."
I think about how much I've learned from her. I steel my nerve and ask, Have you learned anything from me?
I was stunned. My mind just couldn't grasp it. I'm just some pesky renegade Christian, Polish mangaka, and sarcastic jackass. I must have really been thrown, because she typed, "Hello?"
I'm still here, I type back quickly. Then I type, I don't get it. You're the teacher, not the student. You have the answers. What could you possibly learn from me?
I shook my head. I'm just trying to move forward.
"Against more obstacles than most people face, metaphorically and realistically. And you always find a way."
I don't remember much of the chat after that. I just can't get over it. She would never lie to me, but the idea that I am teaching her ANYTHING just makes my head spin. It's humbling. And it's inconceivable to me.
We all want the same thing out of life -- we want relevance. To know that, on some level, we matter. To find out I matter to someone I admire so greatly...I just don't know what to think. Other than I want to keep advancing, to be worthy of her respect. However long that may take.