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Hey, America!  It's time for America's favorite new game show, Who Wants To Give Jay Cutler A Concussion?  We have two fine groups playing this weekend, the Green Bay Packers and the Philadelphia Eagles!  Whoever wins plays the Chicago Bears the following weekend!


Now, I will openly admit I know jack shit about football (basketball was my game).  I don't play Madden because I really don't give a shit about the minutia of the stats and that.  However, plunk me down in front of a regular arcade-style football game (Tecmo Bowl, Ten Yard Fight, Super High Impact, and the early versions of Blitz) and I'm Hell on wheels.  Which is what makes listening to my co-workers so mind-numbingly painful.  How is it that a guy who doesn't even play backyard football sees things that these lifelong fans and students of the game don't?

The Bears are a bad team.

"Well, Peter," I hear some of you saying, "they won their division."

Yeah.  They won in the WEAKEST DIVISION IN THE NFL.

The Bears have no real competitive fire.  They barely beat the Lions in their first game of the season.  Weeks later, Green Bay played Dallas and squashed them.  THAT is how a good team handles a bad team, not winning by pure dumb luck.  They simply figured New England would want to get back in the locker room before the half a few weeks ago, and saw another touchdown run just before the buzzer.  Martz gives them their best chance to win when he calls running plays, and yet he keeps switching to passing for no good reason.  New England prepared for their game against the Bears by practicing outside with footballs that had been kept in the freezer overnight.  The Bears?  Did you even see that game?

You want to know what this is?  'Cause I'm gonna tell you what this is -- this is 2001 all over again.  The Bears had a dipstick coach named Dick Jauron who got lucky that season.  Before that, everyone screamed about what a lousy coach he was.  Then he did well enough, everyone absolved him and he got a contract extension.  Extension in hand, the Bears resumed their meteoric slide through the standings the next year.  Everyone is expecting a work stoppage, and Lovie Smith is doing well enough that the fans are absolving him when he could negotiate an extension on his contract.  History repeats itself.

All these Bears fans, instead of keeping their eyes open, tell me "Better lucky than good" (yeah, that ALWAYS works) and "We'll take our wins any way we can get them."  Which means, they don't care about anything other than posting wins.  What's the point, then?  It's like the Cubs.  I was a Sox fan as a kid, and could never figure out how a team that couldn't seem to bother to win was so popular.  "Oh, they're the Lovable Losers."  I'll take the Winning Ugly season any day.

Side note:  although, if the Eagles win this weekend, I will root for the Bears.  May Ron Mexico burn in Hell.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 5th, 2011 06:01 am (UTC)
You might wanna look at a few stats, Peter. The Bears do not play in the worst division in the NFL. That, hands down and without question is the NFC West. Home of the Division Champion Seattle Seahags, who won the division with a 7-9 regular season record.

Think about that. One more win than the Detroit Lions.

The Bores, whom I enjoy because I'm a Packer fan, aren't quite as bad as you make them out to be. The Packers lost to the Lions this season once, and the Lions ended the season on a four game winning streak. Things are looking up for the Motor City in the NFL.

You can thank me once you get your foot out of your mouth. ;-)
Jan. 5th, 2011 11:39 am (UTC)
They couldn't make me say Shaq was a good player, they couldn't make me say Rodman was more than a one trick pony.

In other words, if my foot really is in my mouth, it's staying there. ;-)
Jan. 5th, 2011 03:13 pm (UTC)
You are not the only one who doesn't care for football or Da Bears. I said something about it in my February 3, 2007 post.


Edited at 2011-01-05 03:14 pm (UTC)
Jan. 5th, 2011 08:09 pm (UTC)
What I find interesting is one post ago you began with "As someone who doesn't give two shits about football"....

I think you're being too harsh. I'm a huge Bears fan and most people I know are happy for the teams success. Are they perfect? No. But winning 11 games, second most in the conference and tied for fourth best in the whole league, means you have to be good as well as lucky. Sure they lost some games they should have won (Washington, Seattle) and won a couple of games they should have lost (Detroit) but the fact remains they won 11 games.

This isn't college where we poll coaches and sportswriters to decide a champ. In the NFL you have to win to get in the playoffs. They DESERVE to be there.

The offensive line was terrible in the first part of the year, they got better. Cutler has vastly improved under Martz's system and the improved play of the O-line. Forte has played well and a group of talented young receivers have really stepped up.

The aging defense has had their ups and downs but over all they are the ninth best in the league. Not stellar but above average. If the offense and defense can find a way to get hot at the same time the Bears could really make some noise in the playoffs.

Do I expect the Bears to win the Superbowl? No. I think they should win their first game. After that it's probably a loss against Atlanta. If they can get into the Superbowl will probably lose to the Patriots. I don't like New England but they are looking great this year and have to be considered the top contenders.

I don't know if you're listening to sports radio, but this sounds like something you'd hear there. It's become fashionable to be a cynical sports fan. There is nothing wrong with being excited about your team being in the playoffs, even if they're not the most dominant team in the league.

I do know this. Detroit, Washington, Tampa Bay, The Giants, etc... won't even have a chance to win the big one this year. The Bears do. Because they're NFC North Champs.

As a fan I'm damn proud of that!
Jan. 5th, 2011 11:12 pm (UTC)
boxwatcher wrote:

"La la la! I'm not listening, reality! Go away!"

...fixed that for you. ;-)

And as far as it being fashionable to be a cynical sports fan, I want you to think back on all the years we've been friends.

Now, here's the question:

Have you ever known me NOT to be cynical? ;-)

Edited at 2011-01-05 11:15 pm (UTC)
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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