--Dr. Delia Surridge
V For Vendetta
I didn't think much of it at the time.
I don't want to think much about it.
The ramifications are a little more than my beliefs can deal with.
Yesterday, I'm out and about, taking care of errands and shopping. My mom in Florida has developed an interest in learning to play the bongos. I'm checking around for the First Act stuff. Hardly quality stuff, but it's not like mom is going to be playing with Carlos Santana any time soon.
I stop after the comic shop to grab a hot chocolate and a couple of doughnuts. It's my first moment reading the Saturday paper. Former Governor Ryan snuck out of prison to visit his ailing wife for two hours in violation of every law. I'm already thinking how I'll write it up on my blog, as well as my bitching about Gov. Quinn's proposal to increase income tax and business tax in Illinois without reducing any costs at all.
It started, I think, after 330PM. I don't usually wear a watch unless I have to, so I honestly don't know the time, I can only estimate it based on the time stamps on receipts and how long it takes between destinations (e.g. Barnes And Noble, about 415PM). I remember closing the paper, throwing out the sections I didn't need like the classifieds and the sports, when I felt it.
It was despair. Soul crushing despair. Complete and utter pain and hopelessness.
I did what I usually do -- I dealt with it. It happened often enough in my old position that depression doesn't even phase me anymore, I simply wait it out and avoid certain thoughts that will only make it worse until my emotions get more under control. I wasn't certain what triggered it. All I could do was shrug.
The irony was that I had been operating in a sort of media blackout. I hadn't been online since that morning and hadn't checked the news since (Kylie's battery had gone flat, so I couldn't keep up with the news that way). Every TV in the stores was turned to the football game. Usually, I listen to the news radio at some point, but I didn't even have that on. But if I had, I would have found out that about the time the depression hit, news broke of a horrible monster of a man opened fire at a public rally in Arizona, hitting 19 people, killing 6, including a 9 year old boy.
I'm sure it's just coincidence. That's my story and I'm sticking with it. I'm not sure how I would react if there was actual cause and effect.
I do my usual Saturday night meet with Mornblade. We head for Culver's. We're chatting and catching up when the subject of the news comes up.
I remember the look on his face. It was amazement. He asked when the last time I had checked the news was. I told him this morning, I hadn't even listened to the radio.
"So if something happened sometime today, you would have no idea."
I affirmed this. Mornblade told me about the shooting in Arizona. I remember I dropped my little cup of ketchup I was dipping my fries in. (I also woke up in the middle of the night, wondering what time this had taken place. Closest estimate I can find is about 315PM Chicago time was when the news broke.)
All I could remember when he told me the details was how much I hated humanity at that point, how much I wanted all of mankind to die and never exist ever again, how I wanted God to just erase this horrible mistake we had become. Remember when Obamacare passed? People were actually calling talk radio stations and advocating shooting elected leaders like this was a friggin' banana republic. Turns out Gabrielle Giffords, a federal Representative for Arizona, had voted for Obamacare. No. Please, dear God, no.
It seems the guy who did it wasn't mad about Obamacare, he was just nuts. His YouTube channel is full of PowerPoint-like videos about social engineering and government thought control. However, the people reacting to this are equally nuts, if not more so. TJIC is the founder of the Heavy Ink comic book shop. Here's his Twitter post. You might want to keep an airsick bag handy as you read this:
Why is this happening?
With the advent of TV news networks targeting specific demographics, they have fanned the flames of intolerance. It's okay to see yourself as superior in intelligence and awareness and others as flawed and a problem to be dealt with, and you have us to tell you what is really going on. As a result, we have fragmented as a nation. We are no longer Americans. We are deserving, others are not, and we judge who is and isn't not on their humanity, but how much they agree with our politics.
Several of the people who read my blog disagree with me quite radically. And yet, if we ever met in person, the first impulse would be to grab a lunch or something and just talk about how great it is to finally meet. Our opinions do not shape what we are to each other, and we live and let live.
The world in general REFUSES to do that.
And now, we have some dipshit who will have created a martyr that politicians from both sides will use to stir up their supporters, blinding them to their common bonds so they can manipulate and see their agendas done. They don't care about the danger to others people like this present, just what they can get out of it.
If someone can tell me why God hasn't give up on us, I'm very keen to hear it.