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Ten Day Meme: Day Two

Stolen from clionona ....

Day One:  Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

1)  I do have some fears, and probably the biggest is that I am what I hate.  You have to keep in mind, as we get older, we start adopting mannerisms and points of view and actions that we swore when we were younger we would never do.  It could be we understand the reason for such actions, it could be laziness and we no longer want to fight those impulses, it could be we no longer see the point.  But as Screeching Weasel sings, "Sooner or later, we all become what we hate."  What I hated was pretty straightforward.  The arrogant.  The willfully ignorant.  The intolerant.  The cruel.  The unjust.  The problem is, I don't trust my own perspective about myself.  I think I'm doing okay, but how would others view me?  There are times when others see things about us that we don't because we are too close to it.  So I do fear that I am failing at being the person I want to be.

2)  If you talk to me and I ask you to repeat yourself, I'm not being sarcastic.  I have to actually LISTEN when people talk.  My mind builds models that I process, like a layer between myself and the world.  If I miss part of a word or the start of a song I know or anything, it violates what I know I'm supposed to be hearing and everything becomes gibberish.  Not to make light of it, but the closest analogy I can think of is it's like a verbal dyslexia, with things I hear instead of things I read.  It drove my dad nuts when I asked him three times to repeat something he was saying to me face to face.  With him, I just say something neutral and let him assume I understood him.  It beats listening to him get pissed.

3)  I love noodles.  I don't mean pasta dishes, I mean noodles.  I can eat them all day straight out of the pot.  Maybe a little butter, but it's not necessary.  The only noodles I require flavoring of is ramen noodles.  Yes, I actually do eat that crap.  Pork flavor is my favorite.  I'm a cheap date.

4)  I'm losing my enthusiasm for movies.  I used to see, like, 70 a year.  Last year, I was focusing on getting Head Above Water done, and I broke the habit.  I now view movies as, "Don't I have something better to do with my time and money?"  I still love the good movies, and I still love going to see the bad ones (Gnomeo And Juliet.  Holy shit, did that suck!) because I'm reacting to something.  I have a memory of it.  When I saw Fantastic Four in the theater, I watched the movie, and when it was over, I pretty much forgot about it.  I have no desire to revisit it.  There are so many movies like that nowadays, movies have become disposable and I'm not as anxious to spend time I could be using to make my comics or write my stories or program or any one of a dozen things that are far more satisfying to me than driving a half hour to the theater and blowing a sawbuck and wasting two hours.

5)  Speaking of the Fantastic Four, I thought the Roger Corman movie that was never intended to be released was better than the big budget one, even with Jessica Alba.  She was miscast as Sue Storm anyway.  Alba is just way too young for the role.

6)  I honestly have no idea why I have manifested a fascination with mermaids.  I have always loved the water and swimming and such, but up until about a year ago, mermaids were just something I drew for my comic book, and I hadn't given them any thought before I started Sound Waves.  I had only seen The Little Mermaid a handful of times, likewise Splash, and didn't think anything further.  I'm not sure if it's the water sign thing, it's the only real explanation I can think of.  It just took a while to pop up.

7)  I refuse to watch True Blood because I am so familiar with Anna Paquin as a child actor.  Fly Away Home is one of my all-time favorite movies.  The idea of watching her in a sexual role makes me feel like a creep.

8)  I feel the time I spent trying to be a screenwriter was wasted.  All those years just as Hollywood started consolidating the indie field.  When I started, I would have been perfectly happy writing for Corman or any other B movie company.  I didn't have to write high art, just fun stuff, and I know B movies well enough to know how to make them work.  But they were dying as I was getting started.  I should have kept focusing on the comic book writing.  I'd probably be further along than I am now had I done that.

9)  I don't like being cynical.  I mean, I'm really good at being a cynic.  But it saddens me that I live in a world where automatically assuming the worst about people from the get-go turns out to be the most accurate predictor of behavior.

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