This confession is meant for one very specific person.
Okay, remember all those years ago when we were Mortal Kombat nuts? And we would sign up for tournaments? And when we faced each other, we were pretty evenly matched, and yet you always won? And you asked me if I threw any of the matches?
Yes. I did throw the matches we faced each other in.
Any other time, you took our competitive natures in stride. (Well, other than Windjammers, but that's another story.) But when we wound up fighting each other in tournaments, I could see you getting angrier and more frustrated. And frankly, I didn't want to ruin a great friendship over something as ultimately meaningless as advancing in a Mortal Kombat tournament. I frankly thought I did a better job of disguising what I was doing, so I'm not sure if I tipped you off or if you were just being unduly suspicious. Either way, you are correct, I did take a dive, I don't regret it in the least, and I would do it again.
To the rest of you -- oh, yeah, I'm expecting either an email or a phone call sometime tomorrow morning over this....