Peter G (sinetimore) wrote,
Peter G

And Now, A Public Service Announcement From Your Friends At Sine Timore

Hi.  I'm Peter G, president of the Sine Timore Kamikaze Research Institute.  As you know, we pride ourselves on our ability to build forecast models of future events.  This is to enable us to make a series of cheap jokes to keep us amused and to enable everyone else to better prepare for the future.  Already we have concluded how all the zombie movies are actually part of a plot by zombie overlords plotting the violent takeover of this country, using the movies and comics to gauge our reactions and what provisions we are making in an effort to gather advance intel.  Science makes everything better.

However, today, I am here to tell you about our newest discovery, one a lot more serious and dangerous to our well-being than a global invasion by the unholy dead.  As you may be aware, several companies that specialize in what we euphemistically refer to as "adult entertainment" have begun tapping into the pop culture market.  There have been several movies made showing comic book heroes in various activities.  Our repeated viewings have established a pattern -- make movies showing the fantasies of people who have trouble getting dates, and you'll soon be rolling in dough.

Recently, production has begun on another geek fantasy.  This one is based on Star Trek -- The Next Generation.  This is actually slightly behind the curve, as this vein has already been mined.  For example, here is a portion of script from one movie that was cut just before production --

    (to camera)
Lt. Commander Data -- your plastic
pal who's fun to be with!

With the new focus on geek subculture, they are working on another one.  Here is a still that was either taken on the set or in a home theater showroom.  Maybe it's both, given that porn budgets are usually slightly smaller than anything Ed Wood had to deal with....

I don't know about you, but I'm getting the feeling they just found some cosplayers (a thought that occurred to me when I wanted to make a Medieval-themed movie and was wondering where I would find actors and costumes).  Although those control panels are probably more responsive than an Archos Android tablet.

Now, you are probably wondering why this is a problem.  Slash of popular culture has existed since popular culture began.  Well, let's look at where slash in the world of online fiction has gone.  What started with slash of Star Trek and cartoons like The Flintstones soon encompassed seaQuest DSV (if anyone still watches that show, please tell me why).  Soon, it wasn't enough to do shows like that.  It was a matter of finding any show and someone creating something sexual out of it.  Chip And Dale Rescue RangersTransformersMystery Science Theater 3000 (both for the characters AND the actors).  MythBusters.  And that is why something must be done.  I don't watch much TV anymore.  But the shows I do still watch, I don't want to see this happening.

So, I come to warn you to boycott movies like this and the upcoming Supergirl porno and anything else like this.  Bad behavior rewarded means bad behavior repeated.  Unless you want them to do to your favorite memories what the actors are doing to each other, we have to nip this in the bud.

* thumbs through the script *

Oh, and won't somebody think of the children.  It takes a village.  Leave Britney alone.  Thank you, and God bless.
Tags: art, comic books, comics, destroying childhood memories, don't try this at home, haven't we suffered enough, i'm such a bitch, let's talk about sex bay-bee!, lord hear our prayer
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