Peter G (sinetimore) wrote,
Peter G

No, Thank You, I'm Having The Turducken

Vegans may want to skip this post.

You might consider this the first sign that Japan is recovering and getting back to normal.  They're once again making weird shit that makes even us Japanophiles go, "...wat?"

I don't know how many of you remember when Denny's had a hot dog wrapped in bacon and covered with cheese.  Drew Carey said it was the kind of food that said, "Follow me, boys!  We're going straight to the heart!"

Well, that is just so passe now....

Longtime readers will recall the launch of Windows 7, and how Japanese Burger Kings were offering the Windows 7 Whopper.  For those who don't remember it, here's the image....

Strictly speaking, this isn't that unusual.  When it comes to fast food cuisine, Japan has some interesting stuff.  For a while, McDonald's restaurants there have had the Ebi-Filet-O (goddammit, can't McDonald's spell anything properly?!?).  For the curious, it's like a Fillet-O-Fish, but stuffed with shrimp.  If you know anything about authentic Japanese cuisine, you'll thank your lucky stars to have something so tame on your plate.  There's an old Polish proverb that says, "With some ethnic foods, the less authentic, the better."

Well, here we go again.  Japanese Burger Kings are now offering the "Meat Monster" burger.  This...device consists of the following:  two beef patties, a chicken breast, two slices of cheese, and three slices of bacon.  Plus some veggie to make it healthy.  1,160 calories.  But wait, there's more!  For a little extra, you can also have added to this...thing an egg, a fish patty, or teriyaki sauce.

I feel like I need bypass surgery just from looking at it.

Now, please note this isn't the most calorie laden burger at Japanese BK's.  That honor goes to the Pizza Burger, which rings the bell at 2,520 calories.  I can honestly say I've never made a pizza burger with that much oomph.

I've been a long proponent of, "If you're gonna go, you might as well go with a smile on your face."  But I don't think this sandwich is fattening.  Sure, the calories are high.  Good luck figuring out how to eat the fucking thing.

Just typing this up as I heat up some hot dogs and mac and cheese for dinner.  Thank God for simple tastes.
Tags: don't try this at home, haven't we suffered enough, this ought to be interesting, wtf

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