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Well.  That was interesting.

I've just been subjected to a friends cut.

It's not the first time.  At least, I doubt it's the first time.  I don't really check my mutual friends thing very often.

The post was public, so I could read it, although there wasn't anything that singled me out.  There were a couple of things that maaaaaaaaaybe were directed at me, but then again, I don't know for sure, I could just be reading too much in to it.  One explanation was that this person posted something that they thought for sure would get a ton of responses and, when they didn't, out came the axe.  (Uh...I like to let people talk, I don't feel the need to constantly inject myself like someone trying to hard to be friends.  At least, I think so.  I don't know which post it was, so for all I know, I just didn't find it interesting enough to comment on.)

I checked my profile, and sure enough, I was dropped.  Okay.  I went and edited and removed them.  I mean, what's the point?

I'm not quite sure how to react.  I mean, I'm guessing this is supposed to be a big deal.  The message mentions apologies if being cut offended, how maybe it was a mistake and if it was they will friend you again just don't give 'em the cold shoulder, and other stuff.  I suppose that's an offer for, if you think being cut was a mistake, you can contact them and ask to be "reinstated."

I've thought it over.

I don't want to.

It's not any desire for vengeance on my part.  This person posts extremely infrequently.  I had initially friended them because we seemed to have enough common interests and creative goals that there'd be interaction.  But there's been very very little, certainly far less than I expected.  It's like finding out the grocery store clerk doesn't like making small talk with you.

I like to read.  Part of the whole thing with friending people is to get things to read.  And this person simply didn't post things to read very often, and only responded to one of my posts in the past year.

I would like to send this person a message that says, "Don't apologize.  It didn't work for whatever reason, and that's all there is to it."  It's not like I'm going to lose sleep over this.

Just wondering, do people really get THAT upset over being cut?

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
ozma914
Apr. 28th, 2011 10:16 am (UTC)
I do, but not for any healthy reason; I'm just thin skinned and insecure. I used to respond to every single friends post out of fear that I'd get cut, but as I got busier and busier I had to accept that my previous level of activity just wasn't possible, and that sometimes I just wouldn't have time to even read my flist, let alone comment.

That's when I realized: If someone isn't interested enough to stick around for infrequent posts or comments from me, then are they really such good friends that I should be all that upset if they disappeared? I guess not. I've never cut anyone, and have no intention of doing so, but if someone cuts me I'll just try to take it as a sign that there was never much of a real connection, anyway.
hellaine
Apr. 28th, 2011 12:27 pm (UTC)
Uhg that shit makes me insane. I get subject to friend cuts all the time, generally because I don't comment enough on their posts or something. Usually they are active journalers who will reply to every post I make with some three word reply like "COOL ENTRY" or "FEEL BETTER SOON!" or something and then call it a day. I kind of only reply when I have something to say, and kind of prefer people to just do the same, so while I'll get a lot of people adding me, I get a lot removing me and yada yada.

I guess it's up to everyone to have their reading list / friends list or whatever the way they want it to be so I can't get mad, but the "FRIENDS CUT IF YOU DIDNT DO THIS" posts are kind of like Livejournal hostage taking and it gets annoying. I use Facebook to be 'friends' and then livejournal to read stuff that interests me and comment if I don't have something to asinine to say.
bluegreenlilac
Apr. 28th, 2011 01:17 pm (UTC)
I don't, although it does leave a bad taste in your mouth. You wonder if you said something wrong, talked too much or too little, etc. However, in the end, it's all good; no harm is done and no love is lost.
mornblade
Apr. 28th, 2011 01:30 pm (UTC)
I know some people blow things like this all out of proportion, but you just can't live the internet life that way.

The way I see it, if a person says nothing, or says nothing you want to read, and then never replies to what you say, then why are you on each others' lists to begin with? If a connection has failed, why continue? Mind you I have cut people for that very reason, and had someone freak out about it. Like it's a competition to see who can have the most people on their f-list regardless of chemistry.

I quote Paul McCartney... "Let it be".
the_disillusion
Apr. 28th, 2011 02:37 pm (UTC)
I seem to have the opposite problem. There'll be someone on my f-list who posts quite a bit, but, I won't ever really reply (maybe once in a blue moon), they hardly comment on my posts. Then comes their friends-cut, and I'm still there.

I don't complain, and I wouldn't complain if they did drop me. In the end, I just don't care.

(Unless it's someone that I've started to consider a friend. Then I get worried.)
clionona
Apr. 28th, 2011 02:40 pm (UTC)
I've done cuts before. You are very much aware of how personal I get on my LJ. I let it all hang out, and therefore I am really choosy about who has access.

But folks that do the whole "YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME THE ATTENTION I WANTED SO YOU'RE OUT!" kind of cuts irk me.

On the flipside, I've been cut before and yes, I was hurt because I try to be supportive and active so I'd wondered what I had done. However, in the end I decided if someone doesn't want me around, it's his or her loss. :P
pinkmossrose
Apr. 28th, 2011 03:02 pm (UTC)
I don't like getting cut, but then I am the too sensitive sometimes. I know it. I guess I need to build up a thicker skin.

I guess if it is mutual then I understand it. If someone is not commenting on your journal, or just leaves little comments. Then I don't understand it.

I have cut three to five people in my time here on livejournal. One because he cut me and a year went by. The other two to four, because they hadn't written in their journals in years. This was when I moved from one journal to another. Which I never attend to do again. I like this journal name much better than my old one. I left the name of my this journal on my old journal in case they wanted to friend me again.

Maybe..mornblade has the right of it. Let it be and all. Because thinking of all the LJ drama that goes on gives me a headache.
blood_of_winter
Apr. 28th, 2011 04:38 pm (UTC)
hehe, i've only been hurt twice by a cut because in both cases these were people I interacted with. One posted nothing about so I dont know what happened (she also cut me from the book of face) and another just made a public post about not wanting non-local friends (okaaayyy). Generally if Im cut by someone I dont interact with (they dont post, i'm not sure how to respond to their posts etc) I dont get too upset.

What really annoys me are the pre-cut posts - OMG RESPOND IF YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND OR IM CUTTING YOU!!!!1111

That gets old.
4shatteredstars
Apr. 28th, 2011 09:04 pm (UTC)
I will freely admit that if someone doesn't leave me any comments and I leave them tons of (generally relevant/meaningful) comments I will either stop commenting or cut them. Especially if they're not that interesting. I just feel ignored when people don't reciprocate my attention and I also feel a bit creepy.

And I only get upset if people cut me when I'm active in their journals.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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