Peter G (sinetimore) wrote,
Peter G

Junior Matlock Club -- Why Do You Think They Call It "FAILBook?"

"Now, it is from little misdemeanors that major felonies grow. And it is my duty -- it is ANYBODY'S duty! -- to stop them before they get too far.  NOW THE LAW MUST BE UPHELD!"

And, by completing the oath, you reaffirm your membership in good standing with the Junior Matlock Club, where we look at criminals who really should consider honest work because they don't have what it takes for a life of crime.

On March 23, the International Bank of Commerce on Eldridge Parkway in Houston, TX, got robbed.  At 5:45PM, there were only two tellers on duty, 19 year old Estefany Martinez and Anna Margarita Rivera.  Two gunmen in plastic masks bought from a dollar store (and at least one plastic gun -- he left it at the scene) burst in to the bank.  They jumped the counter and demanded money at gunpoint.  One cleaned out the cash drawer while the other had Martinez and Rivera take him to the vault.  The girls put tracking devices in the money bags, and the bandits split.

It took a little over a week and a Crime Stoppers tip, but police unraveled the crime and pinned on Martinez, her 19 year old boyfriend Ricky "Ricko Gee" Gonzalez, Rivera, and her 22 year old brother Arturo Solano.

What put them on the scent of these criminal masterminds?


Two days before the heist, Martinez posted, "Get $$$."  Two days after the heist, she posted, "IM RICH BITCH!!!"  The day after the heist, Gonzalez posted, "WIPE MY TEETH WITH HUNDEREDS!  WIPE MY ASS WITH FIFTIES!"  He also posted, "U HAVE TO PAST THE LINE SOMETIMES!! TO GET DIS MONEY!!"

Rivera grassed on the lot of them, it was apparently her idea.  She was working in the bank the previous November when it was stuck up, and told investigators she "believed staging the robbery would be easy" since she'd never heard of anyone being arrested for that incident.  She and Martinez engineered the whole thing, including instructing Gonzalez and Solano to ditch the bags with the tracking devices as quickly as possible.  The plan was hatched about a month earlier.

Martinez was planning to go to college.  That's going to be on hold for up to ten years now.

Some people like me are very paranoid about what we put on the Internet.  Some people could use some of what we're having.
Tags: did not do the research, don't try this at home, duh, important life lessons, junior matlock club, just desserts, stupidity, technology is a beautiful thing, wtf
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