What? Who's hiring penis watchers? No, not Vivid. Chatroulette. Chatroulette is a Russian-based web site where one could not swing one's dead cat without hitting a picture of a penis. At the beginning of the year, Chatroulette reported a 60% drop in US user traffic (proving that when one economy suffers, it's truly felt around the world). Andrey Ternovskiy, Chatroulette's owner, decided to make up the lost revenue by selling access to the guys whose penii were being shown on the site (yeah, right. Anyone else believe nobody's lying about whose picture is whose on a site like that?). “Every day, about 50,000 men are trying to get naked. What we're doing is selling the naked men to a couple of websites—it's an investment for us.”
Well, that didn't work. So Ternovskiy is banning the penii, in hopes of bringing back chatters who took off when the site had more dicks than a political convention. To accomplish this, Ternovskiy has purchased "visual penis detecting software" (yeah, proprietary software. No one on SourceForge has gotten around to this yet). But he has also hired 32 people to watch all the camera channels and make sure everyone is staying zipped up. Don't bother making the "cock blockers" joke, it's been done.
You know how, when you fill out your taxes, you have to sign your name, put the date, and what your occupation is? Next time you feel self-conscious putting down "McDonald's" or something else that isn't glamorous, think about the poor person who has to put "penis watcher" down there.