Peter G (sinetimore) wrote,
Peter G

Whatever Happened To Keeping Kids OFF Of Drugs?

Kids can be a headache.  I used to babysit a couple of real monsters who would do things like piss on the floor of their rooms if they didn't want to be there.  For a long time, I hated kids because of exposure to them and other youngings in my family.  It's only recently that I've started to realize not all kids are rotten.  Although they can still be a handful, as my recent babysitting experiences will attest, but the days of viewing them as torture incarnate are over.

So, needless to say, I tend to take the Chris Rock approach to parents who pull the Benadryll gag.  For those who don't know, Benadryll induces sleep, and some parents will occasionally give it to their kids to make them sleepy and buy themselves some peace and quiet.  Like Chris Rock says, "I'm not saying they should've done it...but I understand."

Well, part of capitalism is finding a need and producing a product that fills it.  A company is making a line of brownies called Lazy Cakes, Lulla Pies, and Kush Cakes.  Each one costs $2.50 to $4, and among the ingredients is 8mg of melatonin, a sleep inducer (bottles of the stuff have tablets that range from 0.2mg to 20mg).  That brownie on the package, named Lazy Larry, looks like there's something a bit less legal than melatonin in there, doesn't it?  The packaging suggest taking half a brownie twice a day to help relax and combat stress.  They can be bought at 7-Eleven, Walgreens, the Harvard Coop, and (unsurprisingly) head shops.

Well, Massachusetts is trying to regulate it due to concerns that Lazy Larry might be attractive to kids.  As you can see from the picture, it says it isn't recommended for kids, but see the anecdote about Benadryll above.  It's a brownie, so it can be regulated by the FDA.  The company making them is trying to have the brownies reclassified as a dietary supplement, meaning it can't be regulated like food.

I need to relax, I run a bath with water as hot as I can stand it and sit in it with headphones blasting Paul Oakenfold or other progressive/trance music.  And remember, booze really heals.
Tags: don't try this at home, haven't we suffered enough, i'm such a bitch, infernal gall, science in action
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