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Okay, Did I Miss Anybody?

So, the DC relaunch has hit The Flash. And, naturally, Flash fans are non-plussed. Here's the blog post from editor Brian Cunningham, who also has a hand in plotting the stories:

“Yes, folks — in the post-FLASHPOINT world, Barry Allen has not only never dated Iris West, but he’s dating someone else entirely in issue #1! And that someone is…his longtime coworker Patty Spivot!

“If that upsets you, sorry about that. But I make no apologies for opening up a traditional storytelling avenue with our hero’s romantic life, something that’s been shut closed for a very long time now. This is no indictment of marriage. I’m a married man and wouldn’t trade it for anything. But in the realm of fiction, I feel strongly that this change to Barry opens up fresh, new creative directions and exciting new storylines.

“But don’t fret—Iris West remains an active supporting cast member. And a wonderfully entertaining one, at that! Who else could possibly hit up Barry for anonymous crime-story tips to fill her blog on the Central City Citizen’s website? No one but the go-getter Iris could consume so much caffeine and live to tell about it.

“In Flashpoint #1, we saw Barry Allen recreate the whole of reality merging DCU, Wildstorm and DC Vertigo creating a new reality. But why does he seem to have created one without his wife – or nis nephew and fellow Flash, Wally West?

“And who knows, maybe someday we’ll have the opportunity to see why Barry and Iris fell in love in the first place. Or maybe not! Stay tuned — I can assure you Barry’s love life will never, ever be boring!”

I would like to point out that the blog post has been edited.  The last line in the second to last paragraph asks why Barry created a universe without his wife, but the reference to Wally is deleted.  Hmm....

Okay, I'll deal with the Iris West thing first, then I'll get to Wally.  Now, I understand two things:  1)  DC owns the characters and is free to do what they want with them and no amount of nerd rage is going to change their minds (if it did, Spider-Man would be back with MJ by now), and 2)  your regular comic book writer doesn't know shit about writing marriages or stable LTR's or anything.  Most people in comics have maladjusted views of women (don't act like you haven't noticed how their drawn and portrayed).  As such, they see women as a hinderance to manly men doing manly things.  Women in comics are just a step above what you see in your standard issue cop show (the uninteresting girlfriend, the even less interesting wife, the bitch, or the slut).

My above point is illustrated by the fact that they are apparently going to make Barry a ladies man.  Yeah.  Barry.  One of the Boy Scouts of the DC Universe.  Barry is totally not a horndog, and given how he's been written as a return to what he was, he can't be.  It doesn't fit.  And here's a little something from the Vast Well Of Peter G Personal Experience -- women do not fall all over themselves and compete with each other to be with the stable, brainiac guy.  Some are attracted to them, sure, but they are not the majority.  Just look inside any night club, and you'll see guys dressed in modern fashion, projecting a cool attitude, and being smooth.  You will not see a guy in a cardigan with a copy of Chaucer under his arm and a cup of Earl Grey in his hand.  In other words, they are creating a character dichotomy that reads like wish fulfillment instead of how he would behave.

Now, that's problem 1.  Problem 2 concerns how Barry supposedly 1984'ed his own nephew out of existence.  Well, maybe, there's something coming, seeing as how Cunningham edited the blog post.  But you know what?  I don't care.  (We're leaving my feelings about Wally West being my Flash out of this.)  This was his nephew.  Barry knew Wally, as both Barry and the Flash, before he married Iris.  He's always thought the kid was great.  Don't forget, when Barry kinda sorta sacrificed himself in the first Crisis, the pure energy he turned into is what gave Wally his speed.  There have even been hints that Barry was still watching over Wally from beyond, like when Zoom thought he was Barry Allen and was about to kill Wally when a lightning bolt hit between them, buying Wally time (Mark Waid's immortal The Return Of Barry Allen story).

And yet, Wally is nowhere to be seen right now.

Like I said, I'm not going to go into nerd rage or anything.  But this just doesn't fit.  It would be one thing if the reboot was things that make sense.  But this just seems like cobbling together a bunch of shit they think is cool without really thinking it through.

Looks like The Flash is staying off my list.

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