Tonight is the second GOP debate, and the first to feature Johnny-Come-Lately candidate Rick Perry. Perry is in the spotlight because he's avoided much of the debate up to now. Like Fred Thompson, he can't run forever, so here we go. Perry will take the stage at the Ronald Reagan Library (symbolism much?) with Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, Ron Paul, Newt Gringrich, former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum, and former U.S. ambassador to China Jon Huntsman.
I've got my traditional layout for watching a big televised political debate: a nice helping of ginger lemon tea, chicken wings, and several Nerf guns loaded and primed. If a candidate says something stupid, I fire a dart. If it's REALLY stupid, I hold down my Rapid Fire 20 (a.k.a. The Overclocker) until it empties. It's not unusual for me to reload them several times.
The debate tonight is 105 minutes long. Part of the fun is the softball questions that get tossed out there. If I were asking questions, here's some of the ones I would ask:
* To all candidates -- given that so many people who purport to be Christian behave in the least Christian ways, is it really such a good idea to try to out-holy each other?
* Mr. Perry -- in October 2010, durind a televised forum, you said Texas schools should continue to only offer abstinence-only sex education, even though Texas has the fourth highest rate of teen pregnancies in the country. You also stated, “abstinence-only sex education works,” then were shocked when the audience laughed at you. Is this an indication of the level of consideration to opinions other than your own you will listen to as President?
* Ms. Bachmann -- last night, during prime time, Ed Rollins and David Polyansky, your presidential campaign manager and deputy campaign manager respectively, up and quit on you. You beat Ron Paul in the Iowa straw poll by 1%, and now are losing to Ron Paul by 1% and are in single digits at the polls. Can we stick a fork in your ass and turn you over yet?
* With the push for marriage equality, how can any of you continue to argue against it?
* Given the number of affairs, divorces, and general boorish behavior, how can any of you say that homosexuality is the biggest threat to marriage?
* Mr. Romney -- you are proposing a plan to help stimulate the economy and say your background running businesses will be a plus. May I ask what took you so long to come up with a viable alternative three years after Shrub finally admitted we are in a recession?
* Do any of you hoping to stock the Supreme Court with nominees in hopes of overturning Roe v. Wade actually understand the ruling and why overturning it won't make a lick of difference?
* Mr. Perry -- your state is planning to balance its budget by cutting a third of the funds going to the agency that fights wildfires in your state. And doing this in a year in which 2.5 million acres have burned and will likely set a record for the state. What the fuck are you guys thinking?
* Mr. Santorum -- even without the neologism Dan Savage created with your name, are we really supposed to take you seriously on ANYTHING?
I would dearly love to hear answers to those questions.