I'm trying to think of a way to segue into this, but I just can't do it.
I don't even think I could do it if my brain were back to full capacity.
Malcolm Brenner is the author of a book called "Wet Goddess," that details a nine month sexual relationship he had with a dolphin.
I'm sorry, but I'm scared looking at this cover mock-up. The spine label suggests this is a very thick book. Never would have guessed there'd be that much to say.
The affair began in 1970. The dolphin was a captive named Ruby. The affair ended when Brenner went off to college. Ruby died afterwards (Brenner believes of a "broken heart". Jeeeeeeezus....). “I'd warn anyone who's in a relationship with a dolphin -- you have to plan an exit strategy.” Gee, thanks for the Protip.
Brenner has been interviewed by a couple of TV stations, and then was called up to appear on radio show of shock jock Bubba The Love Sponge. The ten minute segment ended early when Bubba called Brenner "a sick son of a bitch" and Brenner hung up on him. Shortly afterwards, the magazine Brenner works for said they didn't need his services anymore. He's hoping to get the book into the Japanese market where "where it would not encounter the same kind of sexual taboos it does here in the puritanical States, and where it might also have a positive influence on the debate about the dolphin drive hunts in places like Taiji."
Brenner says he has sold 230 copies of the book, and it currently has a 5 out of 5 star rating on Amazon.
Stop the world, I want to get off.