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Dear asshole family member that I know doesn't read this but I don't care right now,

Go fuck yourself.  Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, insults my friends on my watch.  Your attempts to shame me, guilt trip me, and then minimize my rage only reinforce what an asshole you are.

Blood means nothing.  Bond is everything.  My friend that you so casually ripped on has been there for me when you weren't.  When you were tearing me down, he was building me up.  When you were dismissing me, he was welcoming me.  And when you were denying me help when I needed it most, he was giving me all he had and then some.  I am unrepentant in my anger and will never apologize for screaming at you for this.  Until you apologize, things will be very very cold between us.  And you know me.  I'm still bearing grudges against certain family members from when I was eight.  I will bear this one until the Trump Of Doom without breaking a sweat.

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