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Pray For Mercy

So, there's an online friend who doesn't read my blog.  That's the only reason I'm writing about this here.  And I want to make abundantly clear that I am not mad at her.  I'm mad at myself.  I mean, I'm smart.  I have a genius level IQ.  I should be able to figure this out.  But I can't.

We're at that age where either 1) our bodies start breaking down on us and/or 2) the bodies of those we love start breaking down.  In this case, it's her mother.  She's looking at a triple bypass in a few weeks.

The only thing I sent her was, "Know that I'm pulling for you and hoping for the best."

I just hate how fucking milquetoast that sounds.

People who know me know that I don't push my religious beliefs on others.  I'm not trying to convert them, I'm not trying to represent, none of that.  My first reaction was to say a more elaborate version of, "She is in my prayers," but I don't know a) what religion (if any) she is (I suspect, don't know but suspect, Neo-Pagan) and b) even if she's Christian, I don't know if saying that will bother her.

We all have these little things we do that fall outside our religious experiences.  When my teacher was sick, one of the coders, a very granola guy, said he was sending her reiki.  Do I believe in it?  No.  But I appreciated the gesture.  He wasn't trying to convert me (or her) using his mystic reiki powers, it was just a gesture of compassion and humanity.  But that's just with New Age-y reiki.  It's not a dominant, establishment religion.  There are people that, if you offer to say a prayer for them, will freak out.

This isn't to say they don't have the right to freak out, I know how annoying Christians can be.  But it leaves me in a bind.  I mean, what can I say?  I wouldn't be saying this to promote my religion or to try and spread the spirit or anything.  But I can't think of anything religiously neutral that will properly convey my sympathies and hopes for her.  And I don't want to say anything generally religious or specifically Christian for fear of her thinking I'm a dick.  So I'm left with something that sounds cold and impersonal, which could also make her think I'm a dick.

Conscience makes cowards of us all.  It also makes us isolated from each other.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 1st, 2011 01:26 am (UTC)
There are people that, if you offer to say a prayer for them, will freak out.

That would be me.

"Know that I'm pulling for you and hoping for the best."

I personally feel that this is the best course of action. It may sound a bit cold and mellow to you, but to me this shows you care. While to me a prayer sounds like you are hoisting the well being of me and my loved ones off on a potentially non-existent being. Every Christian I have ever known has offered prayers for my sick loved ones, while many have pretty much damned me for being me. So to me, the term "prayer" sounds hollow.

So, just from my personal point of view, if you don't know the religion of the person in question, or you don't know how they will react to a prayer, "pulling and hoping" is the best way to show you truly care.

Although money or kittehs are good too.
Dec. 1st, 2011 02:52 am (UTC)
What you said sounds fine. Hearing "you're in my prayers" gets a llittle old. I mean, there is nothing wrong with it, people just use it a lot. Say whatever your heart tells you to say; in the end, she and the one undergoing the bypass, will probably appreciate it either way.
Dec. 1st, 2011 01:09 pm (UTC)
I have a genius level IQ.

my religion
Dec. 1st, 2011 10:25 pm (UTC)
"Know that I'm pulling for you and hoping for the best" doesn't sound cold or impersonal to me at all. It sounds like a message from somebody who cares, and I'm sure she appreciated it.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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