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One More For The "Ick" List

THOSE OF YOU WITH DELICATE DISPOSITIONS, SKIP THIS POST.

In my comic book post the other day, I mentioned that Superman, at least in old continuity, has the hot bananas for his cousin Supergirl.  I've gotten a couple of IM's basically saying, Prove it.

Ladies and gentlemen?  Don your goggles.

The revelation in question appears in Action Comics #289 from 1962, pictured on the right here.  It starts off with Supergirl and Superman in the Fortress Of Solitude.  Supergirl is spritzing the place up and tells Superman (keep in mind, this was 1962) that someday he'll be married and his wife will do that stuff.  Superman responds that he will never marry because protecting Earth from evil is more important.  However, this is a lie.  He does that thing where he hooks his finger under her chin to tilt her head up to him while he is intimately close and says, "If I ever did marry, it would be to someone super and lovable like...you!  We can't marry because we're cousins!  (And jailbait.  She was 16 at the time of this story.  -- G)  Though cousins can marry in certain countries here on Earth...we're both from the planet Krypton, where the marriage of cousins was unlawful!"  There's no other way to interpret the scene -- he wants to fuck his 16 year old cousin.

But wait!  There's more!  Supergirl at the time wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer.  Instead of hightailing it the fuck out of there and avoiding Superman at all costs, she begins searching alternate realities and finds a grown-up alternate version of herself, Luma Lynai, and suggests Superman hook up with her.  Superman is totally okay with this, and flies off to immediately propose to her.  No courtship, no nothing, just hearing that she's a grown-up version of his cousin is all Jerry Lee Superman needs.

The only reason things broke up was because yellow sunlight, which gives Superman and Supergirl their powers, was lethal to Lynai, so she had to stay behind while Superman returned to Earth because "Earth needs you!"

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to fill my bathtub with vodka and lie in it for a few hours.....

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
ozma914
Jan. 16th, 2012 09:08 am (UTC)
I kinda had the hots for Supergirl, myself. Of course, I was her age ... and not related. I think it was the short skirt that did it.
sinetimore
Jan. 16th, 2012 11:24 am (UTC)
Hey, if I had been reading comics at that age, I probably would have had a crush on her, too. Besides, given the amount of plastic surgery, public relations, and other manipulations, can you honestly say that modern actresses and models are less fictional than a pen and ink drawing anymore? ;-)
ozma914
Jan. 17th, 2012 07:41 am (UTC)
No one from Hollywood is real! Now that I think of it, I've always had a thing for fictional females: My first crush was Dorothy Gale of Kansas/Emerald City, and I suppose I still have a bit of a crush on her (the book version, that is -- quite a character). Of course, it's now age inappropriate: Dorothy is about 80 years older than I am.
sinetimore
Jan. 17th, 2012 11:53 pm (UTC)
Having a crush on a fictional character is no big deal. Have a talk with us Sarah Jane Smith nuts if you wants some reassurance. ;-)

Well, if the whole point of writing well is to make the characters come alive, so that you are hoping for them or feeling sorrow for them, developing a crush on a fictional character isn't all that surprising. Of course, the trick is to realize it is a fictional character and not go the otakukin/waifu route. (If you don't know what that is, let me know, I'll explain it. Just be prepared to weep for humanity again.) So you're good.

Don't look at me. From when I was a kid to this very day, I have an incurable crush on Jaclyn Smith. Guys may laugh at Tiger Beat or the Justin Bieber magazines, but we can be just as dotty as girls when it comes to this stuff. We're just less public about it.

Edited at 2012-01-17 11:55 pm (UTC)
ozma914
Jan. 18th, 2012 05:59 am (UTC)
Although I don't have a crush on her, Sarah Jane is awesome! I had crushes on the occasional teen star of the day, too ... luckily, I never fell into the trap of believing a fictional character was real *or* thinking that if I could just get their attention some star would surely fall for me.
4shatteredstars
Jan. 18th, 2012 04:43 pm (UTC)
That is terrifying.

Especially when you said: "But wait, there's more!"
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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