Peter G (sinetimore) wrote,
Peter G
sinetimore

One More For The "Ick" List

THOSE OF YOU WITH DELICATE DISPOSITIONS, SKIP THIS POST.

In my comic book post the other day, I mentioned that Superman, at least in old continuity, has the hot bananas for his cousin Supergirl.  I've gotten a couple of IM's basically saying, Prove it.

Ladies and gentlemen?  Don your goggles.

The revelation in question appears in Action Comics #289 from 1962, pictured on the right here.  It starts off with Supergirl and Superman in the Fortress Of Solitude.  Supergirl is spritzing the place up and tells Superman (keep in mind, this was 1962) that someday he'll be married and his wife will do that stuff.  Superman responds that he will never marry because protecting Earth from evil is more important.  However, this is a lie.  He does that thing where he hooks his finger under her chin to tilt her head up to him while he is intimately close and says, "If I ever did marry, it would be to someone super and lovable like...you!  We can't marry because we're cousins!  (And jailbait.  She was 16 at the time of this story.  -- G)  Though cousins can marry in certain countries here on Earth...we're both from the planet Krypton, where the marriage of cousins was unlawful!"  There's no other way to interpret the scene -- he wants to fuck his 16 year old cousin.

But wait!  There's more!  Supergirl at the time wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer.  Instead of hightailing it the fuck out of there and avoiding Superman at all costs, she begins searching alternate realities and finds a grown-up alternate version of herself, Luma Lynai, and suggests Superman hook up with her.  Superman is totally okay with this, and flies off to immediately propose to her.  No courtship, no nothing, just hearing that she's a grown-up version of his cousin is all Jerry Lee Superman needs.

The only reason things broke up was because yellow sunlight, which gives Superman and Supergirl their powers, was lethal to Lynai, so she had to stay behind while Superman returned to Earth because "Earth needs you!"

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to fill my bathtub with vodka and lie in it for a few hours.....
Tags: art, comic books, comics, destroying childhood memories, did not do the research, haven't we suffered enough, let's talk about sex bay-bee!, nightmare fuel, wrong on every level, wtf
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