She wants to reference my real name at least once in the article.
I asked her if she could just use my pen name.
She said, no, the newspaper will not run the article without my real name being in there at least once.
I told her I have to think about it.
I cannot risk losing my job or risk my family finding out about any of this (I live in an area full of small towns, and there's only one person with my name. They'll know, and word will spread. It's already spread that I draw and computer program, so expecting something to remain secret, with or without the newspaper, is a pipe dream). Unless some other way can be found (and why the FUCK do they even need my real name for this?!?), this article, which could have opened up more readers, is officially dead. The potential deficits are far too great.
Leaving me stuck in this bullshit life longer.
I need to go eat something.