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I Hate The World

While emailing with the person that wants to do the interview with me about the Hannah Singer stories for the local authors scene, we've run into a snag.

She wants to reference my real name at least once in the article.

I asked her if she could just use my pen name.

She said, no, the newspaper will not run the article without my real name being in there at least once.

I told her I have to think about it.

I cannot risk losing my job or risk my family finding out about any of this (I live in an area full of small towns, and there's only one person with my name.  They'll know, and word will spread.  It's already spread that I draw and computer program, so expecting something to remain secret, with or without the newspaper, is a pipe dream).  Unless some other way can be found (and why the FUCK do they even need my real name for this?!?), this article, which could have opened up more readers, is officially dead.  The potential deficits are far too great.

Leaving me stuck in this bullshit life longer.

I need to go eat something.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 3rd, 2012 11:40 pm (UTC)
THAT is what I was worried about. It's not enough to say " there is a book by a local author", they have to say "there is a book called WHATEVER by WHOEVER that happens to be a local author". And there is further no point in saying "there is a book called WHATEVER by WHOEVER that happens to be the pen name of a local author that you might know but we aren't going to tell you the name you know him by, therefore you aren't sure if we are telling you the truth or not".

It's about fame. The people of a small town need to be able to claim that they know someone who has done anything even vaguely fame building (which is why we see so many signs about the state high school wrestling champ from 5 years ago). They can't honestly make that claim if they don't know who it is that they know.

Now, if you lived in a real city instead of a small town, you wouldn't be getting this kind of response. For example... The guy on day shift that works in the next area over that also wrote a book of short stories, and also went through a print on demand service that allows for sales through Amazon.com (as well as Barnes and Noble) but happens to be from Joliet, IL is virtually unknown to everyone except those people that work for The Kompany.

I'm sorry that the article had to be killed, but that is the price of anonymity.
Apr. 3rd, 2012 11:57 pm (UTC)
Preach, brother, preach.

The ball is back in her court. If she sticks to her guns on this, then I will pull from the interview. It would have been a great way to expand my readership, but there's an old Polish proverb that says, "The problem with the easy way is it is often mined."

It just sucks that, after making so much forward progress (Bleeding Cool and such) to be given this violent shove back. If I have to kill the article, I'll bitch long and hard about it, but I'll do it.

And dream of the day when I can finally decloak.
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 4th, 2012 11:11 pm (UTC)
It's a long, complicated story, but here's the bullet points:

1) My job. When I was teaching myself to computer program, I also volunteered to test some open source software. All it would have done was gotten me a thank you note in the credits. One of my bosses tried to get me fired, saying, "How can he do computer stuff and work here at the same time?" It was only the intervention of the superintendent that kept me from getting the gate that day. (And lest you think I'm over reacting, remember, companies are violating privacy laws everyday by making people hand over their Facebook passwords, and people who need the jobs have to give in.)

Besides, I work with a bunch of backstabbers. They will literally be your friend to your face and talk shit about you the instant they think you are out of earshot (they still think I don't know what they say about me). I just want them to keep away from me.

2) My family. My parents spent most of my life trying to get me to give up being a writer. My mother would video tape shows where writers talk about how difficult it is to break into the business and make me watch them. I finally went underground. They weren't there for me when things were bad, I don't want them around when things are getting good.

My sister is an opportunist, my extended family makes extensive use of guilt and sponging off each other, I don't want them to know until I am established to a point where they can't ruin anything (which has happened). I already avoid most of them, so that part at least is taken care of.

P.S. Yeah, the anonymous sources thing went through my head, too. Great minds think alike.
Apr. 4th, 2012 01:56 pm (UTC)
how bonkers, I mean, I can understand them needing your real name for thier records, but why do they NEED to publish it if it isnt relevant to your pen-name which is, of course, the author name people looking for your books will be looking for *headdesk*
Apr. 4th, 2012 11:32 pm (UTC)
That's what I was wondering. What they are asking kind of defeats the whole purpose of a pen name.

She also says I'm overreacting, no company she has ever worked for has cared if people write in their spare time. Sorry, but my experience proves otherwise. I just find it sad that she doesn't seem to give a rip about the potential concerns of the interview subject instead of at least taking steps to shield them.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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