Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they can spend years at C.
A pirate walks into a bar, and instead of a hat, he has a paper towel covering his hair.
The bartenders asks, "What's with the paper towel?"
"Argh, there's a bounty on me head."
Why didn't the pirate get hungry on the desert island?
Because of all the sand which is there.
What's a pirate's favorite basketball play?
A hook shot.
Where does a pirate keep his books?
In the ARRRRGchives.
Did you hear about the pirates who raided a ship and took the bath?
They wanted to make a clean getaway.
Why don't pirates play sports?
Because there's no AYE in team.
A little boy dresses up like a pirate for Halloween. Lady opens the door and says, "What a cute little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?"
"They're under my buckin' hat, lady."
This pirate has a parrot that won't stop swearing. Nothing works, so the pirate sticks the parrot in the freezer for a few minutes. He pulls the parrot out, and the parrot says, "I promise I'll be good. But I gotta know...what did the turkey do?"
Why do pirates bury their treasure 18 inches under the ground?
Because booty is only shin deep.
Did you hear about the pirate that took up boxing?
He had a killer left hook.
I know, of all the times for this ninja to stop being silent....