Peter G (sinetimore) wrote,
Peter G
sinetimore

Knuckle Manwich

WARNING TO ANY MALES READING THIS:  UNLESS YOU ARE SECURE IN YOUR SEXUALITY, YOU MIGHT WANT TO SKIP THIS POST!!!

A few years ago, I was talking with a couple of industry pros, one of whom I was a big fan of.  While talking, I mentioned a video game called Cho Aniki.  Neither of them had heard of it.  I described it as the gayest video game every made, and the pro looked at me at me strange and said, "Please don't use that word like that."  I then described the game, how you were an oiled up posing muscleman in a thong who shot white stuff out of a hole in the top of his bald head, fighting waves of oiled up posing musclemen in thongs riding each other or riding giant penises like pogo sticks.  As I gave more details, his expression changed.  I asked him, When I said the game was gay, you thought I was being hyperbolic, didn't you?  He just nodded his head and conceded I had used the word properly in that instance.

Japan's chief import is not electronics, but Really Weird Shit.  And if you are like me, you appreciate that.  Japan routinely creates things that no rational mind would ever conceive of, as anyone who has played that game where you are using a rubber finger to goose a plastic butt will attest.  Overtime has made me miss out on a lot about video games recently (the Portal reference in Left 4 Dead 2) and, in catching up, I came across my entry for the king of Really Weird Shit Mountain, 2012 Division.

This game is called Muscle March.  Anyone who has seen the Japanese game show Hole In The Wall (or it's Americanized version on Fox) will recognize what is going on.  You play one of these steroid freaks.  Someone has stolen your protein powder, and you and your buddies give chase.  The game is on rails.  The only part you have to worry about is when the thief busts through a wall.  He will do it while striking a muscleman pose.  Using the Wiimote and the Nunchuck, you have to mimick the pose to pass safely through the wall.  Otherwise, you crash through it.  Crash through too many walls, and the game is over.  When you get close enough, you have to swing the Wiimote and Nunchuck quickly to build up the speed of your guy so he can flying tackle the thief.  If you are successful, your buddies will dogpile on both of you.

Three environments, WTF oozing from every pore.  There is so much, it took me a while to register that the black guy has a rubber duck nesting in his hair.

There is an American version of the game.  It's $5, and it's totally worth it just to see the stunned expressions on peoples' faces as you show it to them.  The reason I'm posting the Japanese trailer is because it's longer and the English trailer is more sedate.  The J-POP and the announcer just put this over the top.  I can't even get through the whole thing without belly laughing and yelling, "What the hell am I watching?"

To those of you who think I'm weird for making comics with mermaids and games like Cloudburst, please enjoy this game made by "normal" people.


Tags: art, cloudburst, computers, don't say i didn't warn you, i'll drink to that, i'm such a bitch, let's talk about sex bay-bee!, technology is a beautiful thing, things that make you go hmm, this ought to be interesting, video games, wrong on every level, wtf
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 3 comments