So, for those of you who think this is fraught with portent, let me reassure you that the online petitions on WhiteHouse.org are, in fact, created by a bunch of kooks. Here's five others available for people to sign right now....
1) "Establish new legal system of motorcycle riding 'Judges' who serve as police, judge, jury, and executioner all in one." This one is satirical, as anyone who has ever read 2000 A.D. knows what would happen. At least, I hope it's satirical. Currently has 2,017 signatures.
2) "Nationalize the Twinkie industry." The government can't run a whorehouse (literally). You expect them to handle your beloved snack foods? Currently has 356 sigs.
3) "Have the government intervene, moderate and expedite the Collective Bargaining negotiations between the NHL and NHLPA." Let's see, I need to Google what "NHL" stands for..."National Hockey League." Hockey? Hockey...hockey...hockey.... Nope, can't say I've ever heard of it. Maybe if they played it in Chicago, I'd be more familiar. Currently has 383 sigs.
4) "Have the President to attend a Fark.com party. If scheduling does not permit, at least have a beer with Drew Curtis." Finally! Something I agree with! Currently has 1,022 sigs.
5) "For certain counties (within respected states) to withdraw from California and Oregon and form the State of Jefferson." If you're waiting for a Sherman Hemsley joke, it ain't gonna happen. Currently has 237 sigs.
...and the hoooooooooooome of the braaaaaaaaaaave.