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Family Anti-Matters

I'm not ignoring you guys, I'll catch up on posts sometime this weekend.

So, a few weeks ago, my sister gets busted going to the hospital under a sort of assumed name to score a perscription for vikes.  She gets picked up by the fuzz before she gets the pills.  Thanks to her having a previous conviction, the DA decided to try her for a felony (read that:  jail time).  The lawyer talked him down to a misdemeanor (fine and/or probation) to get her off the docket and get more important cases heard.  Yeah.  Apparently rural Illinois is a hotbed of crime.  Who knew?

Talking with dad tonight, he said something kind of shocking to me.  "You know, Pete, it's times like these I really appreciate you."

What do you mean?

"With your sister, it's nonstop drama.  She always has problems.  And when she doesn't, another one is coming right up.  She always needs money.  She always needs help.  You?  You just do your thing, you stay out of trouble, you stand up...."

He was quiet for a moment.  A lot of people who have met my sister and I comment that they have never seen two siblings more unalike than us (further reinforcing my belief that I was not supposed to be born into this life.  But I digress).  My parents have noticed this on occasion, but it seems like, for once, I'm actually being looked on favorably for a change.  I don't know if it's A Blinding Flash Of The Obvious, or just exhaustion from trying to save my sister, or what.  But the very qualities they derided me for (loner, unforgiving, rather vengeful at times) have been renamed (individualist, nobody's fool, demanding justice).

The last time she talked to my mom and dad, my sister casually asked if I was calming down after reading her the riot act when she got busted again.

Mom and dad both told her, "It's going to take a long time and a lot of work to rebuild your relationship with your brother."  (Longer than they think, we never had much of a relationship, I was being nice because I didn't want to hear my parents bitching about treating my sister coldly.  That battery's been dead a lot longer than they realize, although my sister is now very aware of it.)

I know this sounds cruel, but if you knew what my parents went through this time (my mom nearly having a heart attack and taking something stronger than Xanax, my dad upping his blood pressure medication, for example), you'd understand why I'm saying this -- I wanted my sister to go to jail.  Mom and dad said if she went, they would disown her completely.  And yes, they were 100% serious.  Which means she wouldn't be able to torture them anymore.  My sister is killing my parents as surely as if she stuck a gun to their heads.  And she doesn't care.  Her husband has to take her to NA meetings because she will blow them off otherwise.  And with a misdemeanor, she no longer has a reason to go.  This is going to happen again, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually.

And it's going to plant my parents.

I just want her to go away.  She doesn't have to do anything more than that.  Just take her drama and leaching off my folks (they're paying for her lawyer for this and for the bankruptcy she's filing, her third in her lifetime) and her manipulations and get the fuck out of their lives.

Fuck, I could use some jambalya right about now....


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 7th, 2012 03:45 am (UTC)
That really sucks. :(
Dec. 7th, 2012 04:42 pm (UTC)
Leeches will be leeches until the blood source either moves away or dies. Do your parents know about codependency? Your sister is an addict. She will probably not make an adult decision until people (her husband included) stop bailing her out of trouble. I know you know this, Peter. It is sad but very commonplace. My sister was an addict for 12 years. We tried everything and spent a lot of money until we realized WE needed to change. My brother and I had her removed from my parents' property by the police and had a restraining order issued. It took about three years for her to really bottom out and get help. She has now been clean for seven years. Works a job, is married to a normal (as normal as a brother-in-law can be)man and has a healthy relationship with all of us. It was a hard, hard road. I'm sorry you have to see your parents suffer. I know what it is like.
Dec. 7th, 2012 07:10 pm (UTC)
That is a sucky situation indeed. I think Mardeen hit it on the head, your sis has the problem but there's a lot of enabling going on. *hugs* and i hope there is some resolution down the road for all.
Dec. 9th, 2012 02:13 am (UTC)
that's really a shame. My brother is a criminal loser, among other things, and my mom had to finally write him off. It took my grandmother a little longer to see the truth, that her helping him was only feeding his habits and that he was only going to keep hurting them and getting in trouble. Don't know what happened to him and I dont care. It's a sad thing when it's your flesh and blood, but sometimes you can only give so much of yourself before you either cut the bonds or go crazy yourself. I hope your parents find the strength to keep themselves safe and healthy.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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