Peter G (sinetimore) wrote,
Peter G

Family Is Always There

Readers, come and honor heroes among us!

Let's talk for a minute about coming out as gay.

Coming out is probably the hardest thing anyone who is gay will ever do nowadays.

It used to be, when people decided to come out, they were bolstered by the fact that they were making a political statement.  But times have changed, and "We're here, we're queer, get used to it," has pretty much gone by the wayside.

All that's left for people coming out is the exposure.  The vulnerability.  The risk.

People will often come out to others, people they barely know or casual acquaintances, long before they come out to their family and closest friends.  And the question is always, "Why didn't you tell me first?"  Simple:  because coming out to those you care about, that are intertwined in your life, is risky.  People you barely know, if they reject you, you go, "Fuck you, you're an asshole," and you never really have to worry about seeing them again.  Friends and family, though?  If they reject you, your whole life is turned upside down, and you second guess coming out or maybe you should have waited or whatever.

Every story I hear about people coming out, the poor soul is wracked with more fear and intimidation than if they were going to Hell.  Some, it turns out to not be worth the worry -- a friend of mine knew a guy who came out to his family when he was sixteen.  He couldn't think of a way to do it, so he blurted it out at the dinner table in front of his mom, dad, and sister.  Everyone just looked at him and his sister said, "Duh!  We've known for years!"  But there are also times when it's harrowing.  Dan Savage's boyfriend was beaten by his dad and given two broken arms.  And that's just the guys.  My observations suggest that women coming out face far greater ostracism and threats from other women.  And if that boggles your mind after a guy's dad beating him up and breaking his arms, yeah, it can get that bad.

Which brings us to the subject of this piece.  Her name is Laurel, and she goes by the Tumbler handle of ellende-generes.  She was going through what any gay teen does, wondering how exactly to mention this to her parents, how to handle things if the worst case scenario plays out, everything.

So she made a cake.  Pictured below, click through for biggie.


So, what happened?

Mom and dad couldn't wait to support her.  "My dad saw the cake and came into me room and hugged me and laughed.  He said he loved me and the cake and the letter and everything was perfect.  Brb crying."  "My mom saw it and cried of happiness.  We hugged and cried together.  Then, we all ate the cake and talked.  I am very luck (sic -- G) to have such supporting parents and to have so much support from you guys.  Thanks everyone!  Have a gay day!"

It does this spinning ball of dirt and ice I call my heart good to hear a story like this.  Especially when stupid intolerance still exists elsewhere.  Enjoy your life, Laurel.  And to Laurel's parents, thanks for getting it.

Honor these heroes among us.
Tags: a hero among us, i feel much better about myself, i'll drink to that, just desserts, let's talk about sex bay-bee!, punk as phuck, pure awesome, sez who? sez me!
  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded