It seems male German soldiers are growing tits. Only one each. The left one. Just when you think German sex is as warped as it can get....
The battalion where this has been observed is the Wachbataillon, a unit that performs precision military drills at official ceremonial functions. Part of the routine is smacking their firearms against their left chests. This is apparently triggering gynecomastia, where male breasts suddenly start developing like their female counterparts. In other words, genuine, 100% real man boobs.
Gynecomastia is rare, but not unheard of. It's usually the result of hormonal imbalance between testosterone and estrogen in the body and physical trauma to the chest area. Teenage boys (read that: going through puberty) are the most susceptible, and usually get them surgically removed once they reach the psychological breaking point. Still, it's very odd that it's only occurring on only one side, and only to this particular battalion. In fact, 70% of the battalion is afflicted with it.
According to the report, "Military officials have promised to keep an eye on the men's breasts."
No, I'm saying anything. What am I, five?