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I've long suspected that PETA is living in a fantasy world free of self-reflection and analysis.  Sort of like Donald Duck in the Chip 'n Dale cartoon where he has the toy train and landscape, bitching about anything that is out of scale while ignoring the fact that he himself is the greatest offender of his own standards.

PETA claims they somehow got a hold of a towel George Clooney used at the gym.  I have no idea how they are so sure it's his.  Maybe they are hoping that, by proclaiming it's the genuine article, people will believe it.  Hey, it works for the Shroud Of Turin.  Anyway, they sent Clooney a message saying that they have chemists who can extract the flavor of his sweat.  They want to use it to create...no, not a scientific abomination of nature, but George Clooney-flavor tofu, or "CloFu" for short.  Yeah, that's supposed to make tofu more appetizing.  The proposal letter provides the following example -- "Cheese-scented CloFu could be used as pizza topping and in lasagna…CloFu will help people be healthier and more environmentally friendly and will spare animals from being killed for the table."  Just thinking about a dinner that tastes like fake cheese and George Clooney makes me want to do my LOLrus impersonation, screaming, "Where's mah bucket?!?"  It would certainly help people stop eating meat, simply because they'd stop eating PERIOD.

I know Clooney has a lot of talent for movies.  But I've been annoyed with the guy since he and his buddies started telling me how I should vote regardless of my feelings or beliefs on the issues.  In other words, Clooney can eat me, not the other way around.  However, and my hat is off to him for this, Clooney is dismissive of the whole idea, saying in response, "As a mammal, I'm offended."

Keep in mind, the whole idea of vegetarian foods flavored like non-vegan foods offends me.  If you're going to go vegetarian, go all the way, don't do this bullshit "It's like meat, but it's not!" stuff.  You are substituting, not doing without.  And keep in mind, this is coming from a Christian who fasts all day on Fridays during Lent because he knows how to cook seafood, so going without meat is not a challenge to him (as I explained to my mother about how going meatless on Fridays is no big deal, "I can eat ALL the chocolate cake I want!").  Actually following principals is so inconvenient (not to mention bland, tasteless, and unappetizing).

So.  PETA says that, in principal, eating an animal is like eating a human being.  And now, they are coming out with a human-flavored food....

To quote Zaphod Beeblebrox, "Okay, so ten out of ten for style, but minus several million for good thinking, yeah?"


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Mar. 13th, 2009 04:02 am (UTC)
As if I didn't find Tofu unappealing enough as is. And I have tried to like it, I have. And I have tried to like Soy Juice (it's not milk damnit). The reality of it is that the human animal is an omnivore with carnivorous tendencies.

Looking at physical attributes of other animals in relation to humans, animals with sharp pointy teeth on the front sides are carnivores, animals with eyes on the front of their face instead of to the sides are predators, animals without features are... food.

-this message brought to you by PETA (People for the Eating of Tasty Animals)
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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