South Fork Industries is an ammo manufacturer located in Dalton Gardens, Idaho, and they are preparing for the upcoming jihad. They are doing so with bullets they say guarantee that any Muslim shot with them will go to Hell.
Three little words: pork laced bullets.
Yes. You read that right. And you thought bacon soap and bacon feminine hygiene spray were off the deep end.
The bullets, sold under the name "Jihawg Ammo," are coated with pork-infused paint. The company's web site says this makes the ammo "haram", or unclean. Supposedly, any Muslim shot by one of these will be prevented from entering paradise. Well, that's what the research says, no one can say for sure if that will really work for obvious reasons.
"Jihawg Ammo is a defensive deterrent to those who violently act in the name of Islam. With Jihawg Ammo, you don't just kill an Islamist terrorist, you also send them to hell. That should give would-be martyrs something to thing about before they launch an attack. If it ever becomes necessary to defend yourself and those around you our ammo works on two levels." Considering we're dealing with traditional Christians here, shouldn't they be thinking Muslims are already going to Hell WITHOUT the extra help? Although the web site warns, "The nullifying principle of our product is only effective if you are attacked by an Islamist in Jihad. Otherwise, our ammo functions just like any other ammunition, so we obviously insist upon defensive use of our ammo only -- not offensive."
Interesting in theory, but potentially wrong. Shannon Dunn is an assistant professor of religious studies at Gonzaga University, and she says the whole thing hinges on a misinterpretation of the Quran. "There is no penalty for coming into contact with pork given by the Quran," she says as unambiguously as possible. The verses that cover eating pork are basically taken from the Jewish dietary laws from Leviticus. "To my knowledge, Muslims, especially unknowingly, would not be banned from heaven for eating or getting hit by pork. There are some interpreters who suggest that Muslims should eat pork rather than starve, if faced with that alternative." Yeah, but this is religion -- what's a religious discussion without extremist nutballs misinterpreting things?
Despite doubts that this will have the intended effect, the Jihawg Ammo has got its own little support group. The web site uses the slogan "Peace Through Pork" and calls it "a peaceful and natural deterrent to radical Islam." (Well...at least they are distinguishing between your everyday, average peaceful Muslim and the lunatic fringe. I guess that's sort of progress.) They are selling apparel with other slogans like "Put Some Ham in MoHAMed" and a target poster declaring, "Give Em A Spankin With Some Bacon!" 4,300 people so far have liked it on Facebook, with one person saying someone should smuggle the bullets to US military troops. Even been in a mess hall? The troops my prefer to eat pork-laced bullets to that stuff, so be careful what you wish for.
...that's a good question -- what's the expiration date on a box of pork-laced bullets?
You know, if we could harness the energy we spend on stupid goofy ideas, we'd probably have this cancer thing beaten in a week.