Peter G (sinetimore) wrote,
Peter G

Take A Bow

I've been thinking about this all day.  When I first saw this on my news reader, I was prepared to just skip past it as another celebrity says something really fucking dumb.  But the more I thought about it, the more I saw something else.  Something else that warrants talking about.

The person in question is Candace Cameron Bure.  Bure is the child star of Full House. She's also the sister of homophobic dipshit Kirk Cameron, who makes talk show appearances, documentaries, and homeschooling plans about how gays are the reason America is in deep shit right now.  I didn't know how Bure believed -- after all, family doesn't automatically believe the same thing (I'm living proof).  Still, someone close to her that believes that shit does at least make you wonder.

Bure, however, seems to have stumbled onto the fact that Carrie Prejean discovered -- that Christianity is a cottage industry.  Say anything and tie it to your belief in Jesus, and people will rally for you and buy your shit.  Let's look at where her little media blitz started, with the publication of a book of her life and philosophy about a month and a half ago.  We are going to compare and contrast this with another book, this one by pro volleyball player and model Gabrielle Reece.  The key element I want to point out is how both women say that their marriages are happy, healthy, and solid because both women are the submissives in the relationship and the men are the leaders.

Now, this is not to endorse this train of thought.  As I already covered when I wrote about Reece in a separate entry, that is simply the relationship model that works for her.  It doesn't make your own marriage if you are equals or female dominant (yes, there is such a thing) any less valid, and it doesn't encourage women to give up on their empowerment just to score a man (that's what Cosmopolitan is for.  I'm such a bitch), it's just someone talking about what makes them happy, what works for them.  I would not be happy with a submissive wife, I need an equal.  So all I can do is shrug at Reece and move on.

But here's the thing -- Reece got hammered royally for stating this, being told she was setting back women's equality by a few centuries.  But Bure?  Nope.  She got cheered for being a good Christian woman and how dare anyone say bad things about her.  The only difference between her and Reece is Bure cloaked her beliefs in Scripture, while Reece simply said it was how she liked it.  The reaction was hypocritical.

Now, we are on the present day.  Bure is appearing as a contestant on Dancing With The Stars.  I don't get it, I don't care, it comes on the TV, and I turn on Achievement Hunter.  Bure is causing waves because of something she said the other day.  The competition started last week, and during Bure's videoed bits, she implied she wasn't going to be sexy.  This week, she was a lot more upfront.  In an interview with Erin Andrews, she talked about how she might be holding back as she struggles to balance being on DWTS with her Christian beliefs.  When she mentioned she was a Christian and her life revolves around her Christian beliefs, applause erupted from the audience.

Now, I know there are branches of Christianity that view dancing as a sin, and that some things are more sexual than others.  For example, Kathy Ireland, who is an evangelical, appeared on the show, so apparently it didn't conflict with her beliefs (then again, considering she built her empire on her picture being used as currency in men's correctional facilities, I don't think dancing would even blip her radar).  I thought, Boy, did Bure pick the wrong show to appear on!

But then I started thinking, maybe that was the plan all along.

I don't know how many of you ever saw a show called Distraction.  It was a British quiz show hosted by Jimmy Carr where the contestants were subjected to a myriad of horrible distractions to complete the game, from buzzing in by smashing a liquor bottle over your head to drinking their own urine to peeling the answers off the bodies of geriatric nude models with their teeth to actually being electrocuted at random.  Carr had zero sympathy for them, flat out stating to the camera, "They've seen the show, they know what they've let themselves in for."

And that's the thing.  Bure knew what she was in for with DWTS.  She knew how things go.  And she signed up anyway, for something that she claims conflicts with her Christian beliefs.


I'm thinking this is just a publicity stunt for her.  People appearing on the show see their careers get a shot in the arm.  Bure doesn't object to any of this, she's pulling a Bristol Palin, counting on a dedicated following to unite behind her and help her advance through the judging.

Further proof?  I would like to present this picture....


Please notice the see-through area that showcases her cleavage while attempting to disguise it.  Also notice she's doing that stupid crossed ankles pose.  Women do that to make their legs and hips seem more slender (you almost never see Jennifer Love Hewitt without it).  It is attempting a sexual vibe instead of just standing there and wearing something a little less see-through around her tits.

Bure is using Christianity.  Will Christians fall for it?  I'm very curious to find out.
Tags: cheap shots r us, did not do the research, don't say i didn't warn you, don't try this at home, fandom wank, haven't we suffered enough, hypocrisy, i'm such a bitch, infernal gall, let's talk about sex bay-bee!, no sir i don't like it, not this shit again, portents of doom, religion, sez who? sez me!, stupidity, things that make you go hmm, this ought to be interesting, wrong on every level, wtf
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