And, by reciting the oath, you retain your membership in good standing in the Junior Matlock Club, where we look at criminals who should consider another line of work because they really don't have what it takes for a life of crime.
This is an old one, from 2009. And the rule is, as they get older, they have to step up their game. They have to be really weird, really stupid, and really really funny to make it here. And this one has all three, plus a guy who needs to consider two lines of work, both as a criminal, and as a police officer.
Yes, that's right, today's subject is a cop. Specifically, he's James Moss, a state trooper in Tennessee. It sounds like the set-up for a porn scene. Moss had pulled over a vehicle with a 21 year old woman in it. She eventually identified herself as Brandi Cummings. She offered to blow Moss if he would not write her a ticket.
Oh, yeah. Sounds like the set-up of a porn scene, all right. Anyone else remembering Heather Graham on SNL at this point?
Moss didn't believe her, so he took her to the squad car and used the computer to search. Sure enough, he came across Brandi Cummings' web page, and yup, that was really her he'd pulled over.
So they go in the back seat of the patrol car and get busy. She got the ticket anyway, though, because he'd already called it in.
Now, shit like this happens a lot. So, what was it that Moss did wrong? Well, Moss used his cell phone to take pictures and video of this. But wait, there's more. The next day, he contacted Miss Cummings and asked her to post the pictures to her web site so he could prove to his coworkers that he had sex with a porn star in the back of his police cruiser.
She did so, and Moss was not only sacked, but he's been charged with a felony.
So, the lesson to be learned here is an old one -- don't let the little head do the thinking for the big head.