Peter G (sinetimore) wrote,
Peter G
sinetimore

Coming Around Again

It's weird the things you can talk about with Christians that you couldn't talk about just a short time before.

As longtime readers know, I believe in reincarnation.  I don't believe God would be so cruel as to condemn someone to an eternity of suffering unless you do something really really horrible.  So you keep going around until you get it right.  I haven't delved too much into what my previous lives were like.  Past life examinations are by their very nature subjective, so I'm not always sure what I'm "discovering" is true.  There are a few details that bubble up that I am comfortable saying are acurate.  I know that, in my last lifetime, I was a military pilot.  I wasn't more than a grunt, I wasn't some great hero, but that's what I was (it kind of goes without saying that I was male in my last lifetime, as they didn't allow women to be pilots at the time.  Hell, they barely allow them NOW).  I was a heavy smoker, probably about two packs a day.  I was American, but spent a considerable amount of time away from the homeland.  There are other things that I'm not sure how right they are, so I sit on those, but I was definitely a flyboy.

(I also have some memories of living in Japan, but I don't discuss those.  The things I get during those explorations seem pretty crackpot to me, so I can only imagine how they would sound to other people.  My teacher is the only one I will discuss that with, because I know she won't think them the slightest bit odd.  The rest of you just stick with the above.)

When I first started exploring my own religious ideas, one of the biggest freakouts my mother did was when I told her, "Because I believe in the Bible, I believe there is a Hell.  But because I believe in God's mercy, I believe it is empty."  (Yeah, I skipped some nuances there.)  She freaked out and called in a priest to "talk sense" to me.  Discussing my religious beliefs became off limits as far as I was concerned, because I didn't feel like dealing with her smooth-lobed faith.  I only brought it up if something directly conflicted with what she wanted me to do, otherwise, I kept my mouth shut.

We've had some problems with my sister lately.  My dad has had problems with his side of the family lately.  My mom has never NOT had a problem with her side of the family.  It was one of those days she wasn't sure if she should vent or not.  Figuring it was only a question of when and might as well get it over with now while the day is relatively open, we started talking.

And at some point, I'm not sure how, she asked me about my beliefs about Heaven and such.

Oh, no!  I know a set-up when I hear one!  What's next, you're going to ask me if you look fat in something?

"No, I want to know what you believe.  You don't believe the same things I do.  What do you believe?"

So I gave her the Cliff's Notes version of my beliefs, that God doesn't want to damn people unless He really really has to and you keep going around again.

"...that's actually very beautiful.  So you think you've lived before?"

Yes.

"You think you weren't good?"

Probably not.  I'm still here instead of in Heaven, aren't I?

The discussion didn't last much longer, and I have no doubt that, in a few hours, mom will forget all this and it'll be back to me being a heretic who needs to be straightened out.  But for one brief moment, she understood.  Not only what I believe, but why I believe it.  And she was not only okay with it, she seemed to be thinking about her own beliefs as well.

But I think I used up all my luck on that one exchange.  I don't think it's wise to try it again.

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