Peter G (sinetimore) wrote,
Peter G
sinetimore

That's It, I'm Recording An Album Of Me Singing JUST BECAUSE!

I hit the comic shop today to get my stash.  In there is a bunch of Deadpools, so I'm going to have some lulzy reading, a couple of Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash comics (one issue to go, then I remove the series from my list.  I'm not a big fan of Dynamite), Mice Templar, Power Girl, Jon Sable - Freelance, nice selection.  I always cruise through the racks to see if there is anything else of interest.  Ambush Bug Year None #7 (of 6, #6 was killed, long story).  And...

...wait.  What?

Jennifer Love Hewitt's Music Box.

I'm not a fan of Ms. Hewitt's.  She's an okay actress, but it is plainly apparent she didn't get where she is by acting.  She works her tits better than any actress since Pamela Sue Anderson Lee Anderson whatever her names are.  I still remember I Know What You Did Last Summer, where after the body disappears from the trunk, she arches her back while screaming out in frustration, and I wondered if that poor singular button holding her shirt closed would make it through the scene.  She also attempts to be a singer.  She sings on key and such, putting her ahead of Britney Spears.  But her songs are simply okay.  She's never cracked the Top 40 (the highest she peaked was #59), probably because, as Scissor Sister sings, "You can't see tits on the radio."  She's cute, but her obsession with proving her sexiness (in a recent magazine spread she did, she said she wanted to show her grandchildren she was actually sexy when she was younger.  Oooooookay.  She also was photographed, after all the hubbub about her weight, on a tennis court in a bikini and heels.  Nah, that's not a fake photo op, lots of people play tennis in a bikini and heels...) gives her a desperate edge like Britney Spears.  She's like a more wholesome version of Megan Fox.

Now, she's invading my turf.  She created the series and is co-writing it with Scott Lobdell (Lobdell is not my favorite writer.  He has lots of fans, but I just didn't like him.  No moralism, I just didn't groove to what he created).  Sounds more to me like she's co-plotter and Lobdell is doing the heavy lifting with writing the scripts.  Hewitt appears on one of the alternate covers, with a music box obscuring her two biggest selling points, but she isn't in the book itself.

What is the book, you ask?  It's a horror anthology.  Ten issues, each with its own story, interconnected by the music box and what events it brings into the life of whoever has it at that time.  At least it's not a "Look at me, I'm my own comic book character!" like Mayhem.  The idea of an anthology with a plot device interconnecting things has been done before (I remember a TV series called "Gun" from the 90's that was an anthology, and told the story of whoever possessed the firearm at the time).  I wouldn't be so blah about it if I thought Hewitt was going to bring something interesting to the table.  Instead, it sounds like the kind of project that would get thrown into the slush pile if it didn't have her name attached to it.

If you want to make the jump from the Have Nots to the Haves in the comic book world, it all gets measured by one thing:  ass kissing.  Either you kiss an epic amount of ass, or an epic amount of people want to kiss your ass.  Talent means dick.  So while people like me are slaving away in the shadows, being ignored by people in their ivory towers, here comes actress-producer-etc. Jennifer Love Hewitt deciding she wants a comic book series and getting one based on a concept that would be met with, "Are you kidding?" by any publisher.

I'm just waiting for her to do some sort of super hero thing, with an outfit like Power Girl's.
Tags: art, comic books, comics
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