Years ago, a woman I was dating, let's call her "Cathy," broke up with me. She had met a guy with all kinds of connections in Hollywood. She was an aspiring actress, and he was going to get her in movies.
I remember just looking at her. You can't be serious.
"You've been trying to break in for how long now? He's already there."
You don't see something wrong here?
"Look, my mind is made up, it's over between us...."
Oh, it's over, all right. You're throwing me under the bus, I don't want you anymore. But you're thirty. What kind of career is he going to get you?
"Better than yours."
The conversation didn't last much longer, and Cathy swooped out of my life, on her way to fame, fortune, and Maxim magazine covers. Getting dumped always sucks, but I took some solace that it wasn't because I was a bad boyfriend or bad in bed or whatever. I just wasn't a commodity enough for her.
Cut to last night. It's been a long day at my regular job, with surprise overtime to boot. I have a killer migraine, my stomach is churning, all I want is to take a hot bath and curl up in bed before going back to do it again.
I jump on the coder channel to see what everyone is up to and what they are talking about. One of the guys knows me pretty well, he knows my regular identity and a lot of the various things going on in my life. Including key points of my dating history.
I get on, and I get an IM window from him. It just sits there, empty, for a long beat.
I type inside, Uh, hello?
Was there something you wanted to tell me?
"Well, you remember Cathy, right?"
"Do you want to know what she's doing now?"
What difference does it make?
I thought it over. Something was definitely up. So I wrote, Okay, I'll bite. What is she up to?
He sent me a link, advising me to go in under Stealth Mode. So I do.
For the past two years, my ex has been starring in fetish videos.
No. I'm not kidding.
I know we Christians like to say Jesus has all the answers, but I think even He'd be stumped how to react to this.
And yes, it really is her. The face is the same. The voice is the same. The name in the opening credits montage is the same. And when she slips out of character, her mannerisms are the same. Oh, and she's a bad actress, too.
I'm just staring at the screen, and the only thing I can think is, Wow, so this is the career trajectory that beat being with me, huh?
I've had some weird moments when it comes to dating. A while ago, one woman I had dated wound up starring in a stoner horror film. One woman I dated a long time ago eventually revealed to me she was a professional dominatrix (it didn't work out, which is a shame. She was smart, funny, and because I wasn't into that stuff, I was the only guy not trying to hit her up for a freebie). All that is surprising, but seeing your ex in fetish videos? That's a new one.
I used to feel she was wrong to leave me. Now? I'm thanking God and all the angels that she did.