* ring ring ring *

"Hello?!?"

Hi, mom, it's your son.  How are you and dad doing?

"Is anything wrong?!?"

No, just thought I'd be a good son and call my parents and say I love them.  Whatcha doin'?

"...WE'RE WATCHING THE CUBS GAME!"

Oh.  Is that going on right now?

"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL IT'S GOING ON NOW!"

* switch to speaker, so my dad can get in on this *

Mom:  "You're calling now?!?"

Dad:  "Of course, he's calling now!  This is because I took your MXC discs without asking, isn't it?!?"

Me:  No.  I keep hearing that the best gift a parent can receive is a call from their kid.  I'm just trying to be nice.

Dad:  "Is there any particular reason you had to call now?"

Me:  Well, I'm lonely, and I miss my parents....

Dad:  "You son of a bitch."

Me:  Don't talk about my mother that way.

Mom:  "Hey!"

Me:  Well, excuse me for being a good son.  I mean, when's the last time you talked to my sister?

Dad:  "About two hours ago.  BEFORE the game started."

Me:  So I love you more recently than her.

* CLICK! *

Oh, I'm such a bitch....