Peter G (sinetimore) wrote,
Peter G

I'd Like To Apply To Be The Next Robin, Please

You don't always get called into the manager's office because you are in trouble.  Sometimes, it's just to settle a bet.

At work on Friday, they held a special drawing.  Two people would win drones.

As the announcement was made, several of my co-workers looked at me oddly.  The supervisor and manager noticed.

The two winners were chosen.  People started joking about staying completely away from my neighborhood and even tracking me to make sure I wasn't where they would be flying.

Apparently, the curiosity was too much for them to take.  So I get called in, and the manager asks, "What the hell is everyone talking about?"

About what?

"What is this about you and drones?  You hunt them or something?"

Sort of.  I took one out with a working batarang.

" WHAT?!?"

So, I have a working batarang.  In order for me to consider it a working batarang, it has to return to you if it doesn't hit anything.  Most batarangs are just throwing weapons, especially the ones in the Nolanverse.  I wanted one that came back, like a bat-shaped boomerang.

Well, there's a website, Boomerangs By Vic, who makes specialized boomerangs.  And among them is an actual bat-shaped boomerang.  It's big and it doesn't look like the comics because, duh, it's real life.  But it is shaped like a bat and, if you don't hit anything, it will loop back to you.  The first time I was able to make it fly and return to me, I missed catching it because I was so geeking out over the whole thing.

Apparently, I've played with it enough to enable one of those "once in a lifetime" shots, the kind you couldn't duplicate if you tried, but somehow, luck, intuition, and good old fashioned vengeance combined into a perfect storm of awesome.  The neighbor kid had gotten a drone for his birthday, and he was outside annoying the neighborhood with it.  He was playing "I'm Not Touching You," flying close enough to bother people but pulling up and away before anyone could go after it.

I'm outside, doing yardwork.  I hate yardwork, so Peter The Loud's notoriously short temper was worse than usual.  And the kid starts buzzing me with his drone.  Apparently, I'm very entertaining when I'm upset.

I quickly decide, I don't need this shit, and I storm into the house.  I emerge from the house with my batarang, and once I'm clear of obstructions, I glare at the drone, wind up, and POW!!!

I stalk over and pick up the broken drone in one hand and the batarang in my right.  I see the kid, just standing there, staring at me in shock.  I hold the drone and batarang triumphantly over my head and scream, "I AM THE NIGHT!!!" and stalk back in the house.

Only once I'm inside and sitting on my couch, the drone and batarang on the floor in front of me, does it sink in -- I just took out a drone with a working batarang.  Like I said, it was a once in a lifetime shot, I can't really target the thing, but somehow, I got everything just right.  The whole thing made me tingle like a prom queen.

The supervisor is looking at me like a dog staring into a fan.  "Isn't that illegal?"

Before I can answer, the manager, who is a sports hunter, says, "No.  The air above your house is considered part of your property.  If a drone flies into your air space, you are within your rights to destroy it."

The manager and I then looked at each other.  No further communication was needed.

Hey, considering all the things I could be known for around work, being the guy who took out a drone with a working batarang is pretty tough to turn down.

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