Peter G (sinetimore) wrote,
Peter G

The Wearing O' The Grin

People that know me know that I tend to be a bit of a stick in the mud.  I try to be fine and upstanding and conduct myself with some dignity.


The likelihood of me casting that aside and doing something nuts is determined by two factors:

1)  Will it be funny?

2)  Can I get a good story out of it?

If both of these conditions evaluate to "true," then look out, because PeeGee is going to freak out the squares he usually resides amongst.

This story starts last week, with the continued strange existence of Wizard World, the undead of comic conventions.  I don't know how this shambling zombie continues to move along, but it does.  Despite all the interesting events I reported on last December, it still hasn't keeled over.  Earlier this year, they announced that Gene Simmons of Dolls rip-off band KISS would be doing a series of shows at various Wizard stops during the year, including Chicago.  He's also apparently looking for a local band in each city to open for him to give them their shot at the Big Time.  It does mention that band members are supposed to act professional, so maybe my Doctor Who tribute polka band has a shot -- hey, who doesn't love a polka?

Any thoughts that Wizard would go down early this year were dashed when they announced Peter Capaldi, the current Doctor on Doctor Who, would be at Wizard World Minneapolis the first weekend in May.  I've been watching the guest announcements closely, wondering who they might be able to bring in given their current situation and standing in the convention community.

And then, last week, Wizard announced a new guest coming to sign autographs for the three shows they have between the start of May and the start of June.

Charlie Sheen.

My first reaction was, "Seriously?"

My second was, "Why?"

I have been going to Wizard World Chicago since before it was owned by Wizard World, back when it was just the Chicago ComiCon, since 1991.  I used to say, the only person who could turn up and make me refuse to go was Jerry Springer.  I even went when Wizard brought in disgraced former governor Rod Blagojevich to pose for pictures and sign autographs at $50 each.  But Sheen?  I have never liked Sheen.  He's been in movies I liked, but his smug demeanor and wild lifestyle left me cold.  Needless to say, when he had his little meltdown in 2011, going on about winning and tiger blood and stuff, I just rolled my eyes and ignored him as best as I was able to.  I even refused to watch an episode of Drew Carey's latest improv comedy show because Sheen guested on it.  (That hurt because I love Drew and I love that cast, but Sheen was a deal breaker.)  That he allegedly continued to have sex without disclosing his eventual HIV status really sealed the deal as far as my opinion of him.

At the moment, there is no indication that Sheen will be coming to WWC.  I'm not going to beg Wizard not to invite him -- it's their con, not mine.  I've been lobbying for years for them to bring voice actress Jodi Benson, a Chicago native, in, but nothing.  Same with Kathy Ireland -- there are so many golf courses around Chicago, it should be nothing for them to make the trip worth her while.  But no.  If Sheen is a big hit at these other three shows (and remember, one of them is Philly, which, IIRC, is the only show other than Chicago to never lose money for Wizard), it's not inconceivable that Sheen might be brought in here.

So I spent the time since then considering that I might not go to WWC this year.

Then a thought hit me.

In around June 2011, shortly after Sheen started living out loud, an Internet site called Electric Spoofaloo decided to get cute.  The Green Lantern movie with Ryan Reynolds had been out and misfired by now.  But it was still relatively fresh in people's memories.  So ES made a fake trailer for a movie called Sheen Lantern, where Charlie Sheen got the power ring.

(Side note:  in 2012, Tom Richmond at MAD Magazine got the brief to make some parody comic book covers about Sheen Lantern.  However, I think it's pretty clear that this was a case of two separate groups getting the same idea.  Not helping was that the Sheen Lantern trailer vanished off the Internet, so there was no real way to know someone had already done something.  Richmond also took aim at the comics while ES took on the movie.  So, no, I don't think MAD was ripping anyone off.  Hell, I'm surprised these co-developments don't happen more often.)

Like I said, the original Sheen Lantern trailer has vanished.  All that is left is the "making of" videos for the bit, still up on YouTube and DailyMotion. Sheen Lantern isn't completely gone.  Remember, once you put something on the Internet, you can't ever really delete it, because someone will have downloaded it.


I will not be posting the video.  I'm figuring there was a reason it was taken down.  But, once again, we still have the behind the scenes video.  If you check this out, I think you'll see enough to get where this is going.

I don't know what made me remember this today.  But I did.  And I'm doing some thinking.  Suppose Sheen actually comes to Chicago.

And suppose the crazy Polish guy decides to cosplay as Sheen Lantern for the show.

Admittedly, very few will probably get what's going on.  At least, initially.  They won't have to see the video, all I will have to do is say I'm Sheen Lantern, and they'll fill in the blanks.

Off the top of my head, this is what I would need to pull this off:

A green spandex bodysuit with beater top (insignia can be added)
Dark sunglasses
Dance belt (yes, for what you think)
A Green Lantern ring
A cigarette I can dangle from my mouth
A Jack Daniels bottle
An attitude like Bill and Ted had a kid who drinks espresso and NyQuil at the same time

I think the potential for hijinx is quite huge.....
  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded