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Words Fail Me

It seems, every year, there's one mass produced costume that just makes my jaw drop.  Something that is so amazingly wrong on every level, it actually causes my brain to stop dead and go, "...what just happened?"

Longtime readers know that, last year, it was a kid's costume for Anne Frank, complete with a smiling little girl and breathless ad copy. I thought that was the most tasteless, offensive, and stupid costume I had ever seen.  But nope.  This one is it.  This one wins the Golden Toiler Chain With Crossed Legs.  This is proof that God hates us and doesn't want us to be happy.

I just got back from a little Halloween social gathering.

And standing there was a woman in a sexy version of the iconic dress from The Handmaid's Tale.

Literally.  My brain froze.  I literally could not process what I was seeing in front of my eyes.

And here's the worst part -- because I make costumes, I can examine what is being worn and generally determine if something is handmade or mass produced for Party City and Spirit and all that rot.

It was.

Some costume company decided to make a sexy version of The Handmaid's Tale dress and figured there would be thousands of people looking to buy and wear it.

I did a search online and found it.


I love the title.  "Yandy Brave Red Maiden."  Nothing says, "I'm trying to keep my ass from getting sued into oblivion" like a title like that.

I'm speechless.  I'm absolutely speechless.  I don't even know where to begin.  All my thoughts want to pour out in a jumble, like some guy on a street corner screaming about the world around him but unable to put anything cogent together.

This is, hands down, the worst Halloween costume I've ever seen.  On the Wrong Meter, it overflows the integer and goes around again.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pour myself a little drinkie....

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