Peter G (sinetimore) wrote,
Peter G

Jesus, Take The Wheel

So, a couple of months ago, my teacher asked me if I could make Batman and Batgirl costumes for her grandkids for Christmas (ages 6 and 8). Of course, I couldn't say no.

Scheduling conflicts abounded, but I finally made it to her daughter's place so I could get the kids' measurements.

At some point, she had told them what was coming. And they wanted different costumes. She said she would bring it up.

I mentioned to her, Remember, I don't do bad guys.

"I agree completely."

First up was the six year old girl. As I took her measurements, my teacher said, "Tell him what you want."

"I want Harley Quinn."

Well, that arched an eyebrow with me. Ostensibly, she's supposed to be one of the bad guys. But her depiction is notoriously variable. Even in her canonical debut series, Batman The Animated Series, she wasn't exactly evil so much as suggestible and she just hung out with the wrong crowd. Her solo series depicts her trying to navigate the values programmed into her and working her way out from those shadows. And DC's kids media tries to frame her as a fun heroine with a wacky streak instead of really mean.

I said, Borderline, but okay. I'll do it.

Next up, though, was the 8 year old boy. As I took his measurements, I asked what he wanted.


I stopped. You mean, Pennywise?


I looked at my teacher. No.

"How about the Joker?"


"But you said anything I want."

New rule: no bad guys.

My teacher had a little talk with him. She said, "Well, if you want a clown, how about Bozo?"

"He's scary."

By now, I was simply leaning on the table with my face in my hand as they went over why Bozo was scary but Pennywise wasn't.

He then gets an idea. "How about Slenderman? He's cool! He kills people!"

I heard my teacher say, "Time for a talk."

I said, Time for a therapist.

It was then that the kid noticed the Deadpool watch I was wearing. "Oh! How about Deadpool?!?"

Okay. Deadpool, I can do.

"Can you make the unicorn, too?"

My teacher looked confused. I looked at her levelly and said, Remember the first movie?

"No! Just the costume!"

As I was leaving and my teacher was walking me to my car, I told her, You might want to ask your daughter how her 8 year old son knows about plot details from the Deadpool movie.

"Roger that."

Tags: art, comic books, comics, cosplay, deadpool, destroying childhood memories, did not do the research, fandom wank, haven't we suffered enough, hell no! i won't go!, infernal gall, lord hear our prayer, nightmare fuel, no sir i don't like it, portents of doom, sewing, things that make you go hmm, this ought to be interesting, wrong on every level, wtf

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