Rarity Sewing

Emergency Call For The Doctor

When I started making cosplay for people, my first hard and fast rule was, "No freebies."  There are only two people I would make free cosplay for -- my teacher and the Munchkin (she's 12 now, so maybe I should stop calling her "Munchkin."  I'll still think of her as my niece, though).  The Munchkin got one last year.  Her dad was taking her to Wizard World Chicago.  She asked me for a Snow White.  She loved it.

While I was at it, I asked my teacher if she wanted a cosplay.  After all, Halloween would be coming up before too long.  She said no, she didn't want to do cosplay, she was worried she'd feel silly.  I told her to let me know if she ever changed her mind.

Last weekend, I met up with her to talk and catch up.  We started talking about C2E2 and how I was working on a Batman cosplay to wear there.  She then asked me a question and I made the fatal mistake of answering it.

"So, are there any interesting people turning up for autographs?"

Knowing she is a die hard Doctor Who fan (she used to watch it with her mother when she was growing up, the two of them were Whovians and Trekkies), I casually mentioned, Well, they have David Tennant and Matt Smith, the 11th and 12th Doctors.

Her face popped in excitement, then she glared at me.  "The War Doctor doesn't count."

I just smiled at her.

The conversation kind of dried up at that point, as she was weighing things over in her head.  We didn't really get to celebrate Christmas this year, and her birthday is coming up.  I told her, look, there's really no one else there besides the Doctors worth getting for me, so I have a surplus of cash for the show.  If you want, you can come with me.  I'll buy you a Saturday admission and spring for one autograph from each of them and one picture, separate or together.  And we can go see the panel they'll host on Saturday together.

"The panel will be Saturday?"

It's the busiest day of the show, and anything Who-related has always been on a Saturday, so I'd go with that.

She accepted.

Cut to tonight.  I'm working on the Batman and my phone rings.  It's my teacher.   "...uh...Peter?....uh....are you almost done with your Batman?"

....what's up? I say with a smile in my voice.

She eventually gets around.  She's gone full tilt about meeting two Doctors.  To the point where...DRUM ROLL, PLEASE!...she wants to try to cosplay at the 11th Doctor.

I say, You mean, the 12th Doctor, right?

There's a brief pause as I can practially hear her glaring at the phone.  "The Matt Smith Doctor."

After everything we've been through together, I can't say no to her.  So I have put the Batman on hold for a little bit, and I will make her a Matt Smith Doctor cosplay.

For free.

She said she felt a bit guilty, because this is going to cost me a lot of coin.  I told her, after everything you've done to help me?  It's a drop in the well.  All you have to do is kiss my butt once in a while.

A long beat of deliberation, "...okay, it's a deal."

Man, the things I do for my clientelle.

Rarity Sewing

I Should Have Worn My Brown Pants

You know what "relief" is? "Relief" is when you spend six hours doing applique on a cosplay then freak because you think you put EVERYTHING on the wrong side, but then you examine and realize, nope, you did it right all along. THAT is "relief."

Epic Fail

Target Marketing, My Polish Ass

...okay...I don't know what the hell I did. But any place I look that has Google ads, even when watching YouTube videos, has links to sign Trump's petition to build the wall and combat those EEEEEEVIL lefties. I mean, even Facebook isn't this wrong about me, and I ACTIVELY feed it false information!

Bill Nye

Confidential To....

When I went to the convention center, I would travel straight paths. Any time I made a turn, I would take a picture of the wall behind me with my phone (or, if I was traveling really far, periodic pictures behind me). To get back to my car, I brought up the pictures and played them in reverse order, showing me what I should see on the way back. Didn't get lost.


Well, That Idea's Been Shot To Hell

B Dalton. Ames. Chess King. County Seat. Crown Books. Montgomery Ward. Tower Records. KB Toys. Circuit City. Blockbuster. Borders. Family Christian. Radio Shack. HH Gregg. Toys R Us. Carson's/BonTon. And Sears.

People said they voted for Trump because "a businessman knows how to run things."

Pichu Taunt

I'm A Polish Ham, I'm A Christmas Ham

Ah, life in a nearly exclusively Christian community....

Work gave us each a Christmas ham. We were to pick them up as we left for the day.

My supervisor, new to the facility, rather young, is handing them out and crossing our names off the list.

He gave me mine and said, "Merry Christmas!"

I said, This is discriminatory.


It's a Christmas ham. What about people who don't celebrate Christmas? Like Jewish people. Can't they get a ham?

I then walked away before he could say anything.

The superintendent is walking the floor to see how things are going and look for things that need to be straightened up for clients coming to visit the facility. He spots me on the floor, points at me, and yells, "PETER!"

I stop dead as he stalks up to me. He gets right in front of me, then barks, "QUIT SCREWING WITH YOUR SUPERVISOR!!!" And he stalks away.

Now I know why my supervisor was glaring at me through the morning meeting....